Started off at Spurs. They didn't pay me well enough and were all total bottlers who weren't even traceable on Google so I went to PSG.
Very unhappy time there because I made no secret of the fact I thought parisiens were a bad bunch of surrendering whoppers who reciprocated my disdain for them.
I then followed the money to the MLS were I played for Toronto. I aced the whole league only to cruelly miss out on the golden boot due to an inspired Bradley Wright Philips who bagged 4 on the final day largely thanks to some diabolical goalkeeping from Tim Howard. Nonetheless I was back on top form and sought a return to Europe to show I was not a flop.
But unfortunately top offers weren't particularly forthcoming so I ended up in the SPL at Celtic. I scored 159 in a season, including 11 in the one game against a shambolic St Mirren defence managed by Roberto Martinez. I won everything in Scotland and even led the team to a champions league quarter final where the dream was cruelly ended abruptly due to a shocking refereeing decision by a heavily tanned Mark Clattenberg on his return from Saudi Arabia.
A tremendous career spanning 2 decades and 4 countries. Phenomenal.
