When I got married to my first wife in 2001 I was only 21 and obviously very nervous for my speech. My then missus's family were very prim and proper (especially her grand-father who was a retired head school master at the local college), and I was under very strict instructions not to ruffle any feathers.
Anyway, during the father-of-the-bride speech, her old man happened to mention that my wife had been born extremely premature (she was actually on the front page of local/national papers back in 1979 as a bit of a 'miracle baby'), and when she was born, parts of her body hadn't even fully developed, such as her nipples (I obviously knew she was born premature but this nipple news was new to me). He went on to recall the harrowing story of how he had to speed behind the ambulance in his car as her and her mum were rushed to Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge for life saving post-natal care, and how she defied all the odds and was so lucky to be alive. It was a very heart felt and moving speech and had a lot of people in attendance close to tears.
Anyway, he sits down, and up I stand for my turn. To this day I still don't know why, but I decided my opening line would be "Before I start can I just say a big thanks to Peter for that lovely speech, oh and just in case anyone is wondering, can I just clarify that my wife's nipples now are fully developed, and what an incredible pair of nipples they are!!!". My side of the family, especially my old man, was in bits laughing, her grand father, not so much lol
