Worst thing about weddings

[chrismpw]

There's nothing like falling in love and one day thinking "You know what? I'd really like to get the local authorities involved and get a certificate while handing over an unreasonable wedge of money to some fancy hotel"

Ok so it's the season. I was at a wedding yesterday - son of a good friend; I agreed to do a bit of chauffering in my MG and in return the utter sod invited me to join in. It was lovely etc etc. I have to say though, I'm the type where my blood runs cold when a wedding invite lands on my doormat.

The incessant hanging around, the faceache from endless grinning, the forced conversation with people who are so distant from you they probably know someone who knows Kevin Bacon, the massively overpriced arctic-cold mass-produced sorry substitute for real ale, the music so loud it murders conversation all evening so you just sit there being deafened with 100 other people who are fighting fif table space as far away from the speakers as possible, watching somebody else's toddlers screaming about knocking over other people's expensive drinks while you wonder why the DJ persists with ruining everybody's evening for the sake of the 2 or 3 people on the dance floor.

The grub is normally pretty good but I'm told (regularly by Mrs Chrismpw) that its bad form just to turn up, eat and leave.

So what do you all feel about wedding season coming upon us? Are they a delight or a chore? What bugs you most about them?

 

[roydo]

Mates weddings are ok. Family/work mate ones, less so.

 

[chrismpw]

Mates weddings are ok. Family/work mate ones, less so.

You choose your mates, you can't choose your family.

 

[COYBL25]

There's nothing like falling in love and one day thinking "You know what? I'd really like to get the local authorities involved and get a certificate while handing over an unreasonable wedge of money to some fancy hotel"

Ok so it's the season. I was at a wedding yesterday - son of a good friend; I agreed to do a bit of chauffering in my MG and in return the utter sod invited me to join in. It was lovely etc etc. I have to say though, I'm the type where my blood runs cold when a wedding invite lands on my doormat.

The incessant hanging around, the faceache from endless grinning, the forced conversation with people who are so distant from you they probably know someone who knows Kevin Bacon, the massively overpriced arctic-cold mass-produced sorry substitute for real ale, the music so loud it murders conversation all evening so you just sit there being deafened with 100 other people who are fighting fif table space as far away from the speakers as possible, watching somebody else's toddlers screaming about knocking over other people's expensive drinks while you wonder why the DJ persists with ruining everybody's evening for the sake of the 2 or 3 people on the dance floor.

The grub is normally pretty good but I'm told (regularly by Mrs Chrismpw) that its bad form just to turn up, eat and leave.

So what do you all feel about wedding season coming upon us? Are they a delight or a chore? What bugs you most about them?

The best weddings I’ve been to have always been small and intimate.

The bride and groom have everyone there that they want, not everyone that their parents want.

The worst are always in big, flash hotels.

Soulless, dull and frankly boring affairs.

The best one I’ve ever been to, was one where the reception was in a church hall, free bar and a buffet.

It was more like a party than a wedding.

I’ve got mates who own a hotel on the Norfolk Broads and I know exactly how much money they make from them,

Let’s put it this way, they spend most of January in the West Indes !!!

 

[blue61]

The life senrence that follows.

 

[Frang]

get bang on the beek and chew someones mar's ear off allday/night

 

[gonetomorrow]

Arctic cold crap beer is the worst thing. I can feel heartburn coming on at the sound of it.
Weddings are OK if you're sat next to some amusing people at mealtime.

 

[Gwladysover]

Last wedding we went to I endured a lecture from bro-in-law about failing to take a holiday for 4 years. Can't take it with you, spend it while you can, too tight to spend it amongst other smart remarks. I just politely informed him I had been caring for my Mum who had dementia and had recently passed away but thanks for the advice. Only kept a lid on it as would have totally lost the plot and ruined the day everyone.

 

[wba83]

get bang on the beek and chew someones mar's ear off allday/night

Some decent MILFS at weddings some crazy ones to thou

 

[bol-uk]

get bang on the beek and chew someones mar's ear off allday/night

i'M HOWLING AT THIS

 

[Baines' left foot]

There's nothing like falling in love and one day thinking "You know what? I'd really like to get the local authorities involved and get a certificate while handing over an unreasonable wedge of money to some fancy hotel"

Ok so it's the season. I was at a wedding yesterday - son of a good friend; I agreed to do a bit of chauffering in my MG and in return the utter sod invited me to join in. It was lovely etc etc. I have to say though, I'm the type where my blood runs cold when a wedding invite lands on my doormat.

The incessant hanging around, the faceache from endless grinning, the forced conversation with people who are so distant from you they probably know someone who knows Kevin Bacon, the massively overpriced arctic-cold mass-produced sorry substitute for real ale, the music so loud it murders conversation all evening so you just sit there being deafened with 100 other people who are fighting fif table space as far away from the speakers as possible, watching somebody else's toddlers screaming about knocking over other people's expensive drinks while you wonder why the DJ persists with ruining everybody's evening for the sake of the 2 or 3 people on the dance floor.

The grub is normally pretty good but I'm told (regularly by Mrs Chrismpw) that its bad form just to turn up, eat and leave.

So what do you all feel about wedding season coming upon us? Are they a delight or a chore? What bugs you most about them?

I went to my first ever wedding (I’m 31) last summer for one of my best mates in Whitstable right on the beach. Had an absolutely great time and a great weekend overall, but it was mainly down to being in a beautiful place, surrounded by my best mates and in the sunshine.

Can’t imagine being nearly as fun for someone I don’t know as well. And expensive. You don’t mind when it’s a good mate.

 

[anton66]

Highly botoxed Mother in laws drawing daggers at each other all day, after squeezing into ridiculously expensive, too small outfits.

 

[chrismpw]

The best weddings I’ve been to have always been small and intimate.

The bride and groom have everyone there that they want, not everyone that their parents want.

The worst are always in big, flash hotels.

Soulless, dull and frankly boring affairs.

The best one I’ve ever been to, was one where the reception was in a church hall, free bar and a buffet.

It was more like a party than a wedding.

I’ve got mates who own a hotel on the Norfolk Broads and I know exactly how much money they make from them,

Let’s put it this way, they spend most of January in the West Indes !!!

It's the pointless penny pinching by the venues that bugs me. They've probably been collected half a person's annual salary to put on a few minimum wage staff for a day, they supply a few rolls or boiled chicken breast and serve up a fairly decent meal, with a few balloons. Then the real bonus comes for them: they have a captive audience they can charge astronomical amounts for crappy drinks all day. It wouldn't eat much into their greedy money grabbing corporate pockets to make the effort to put on a decent ale that might cost twenty a barrel more and then not freeze the flavour out of it!

 

[YoboCopter]

Mates weddings are ok. Family/work mate ones, less so.

get bang on the beek and chew someones mar's ear off allday/night

This^

 

[Methuselah]

chrismpw, your post said it all.