Worst individual performance you've seen from a player

[MikeH72]

In real life. Mine is Paul McShane for Sunderland at Goodison in the 7-1 game, where he was directly responsible for about 4 of the 7 goals. I just wanted us to keep hitting the ball near him at every opportunity, it was comical

 

[Prevenger17]

Alcaraz against Kiev was the most horrendous performance of recent memory.

 

[Prevenger17]

Steven Gerrard against Man United.

 

[Durham Toffee]

Steven Gerrard against Man United.

Right there....

 

[TGW89]

Beattie vs Chelsea in Feb 2005 - sent off for headbutting Makelele(?) and we had nothing to threaten Chelsea with for about three quarters of the game. It actually scares me that for nearly 2 years he was our sole striker!

Weir and Hibbert vs West Ham in Dec 2005 - Hibbert didn't do a damn thing right as far as I remember and Weir scored a dreadful oggie while sporting the biggest bonk-on in history.... ever.

Kroldup vs Villa in Dec 2005 - Spoilt for choice with this one ending 4-0 to the melts, but dear god....

Neville vs Wigan in March 2013 - Horrible horrible man, a bottler of the highest order and was the personification of Moyes' negative traits.

Barry and Alcaraz vs Hull in January 2015 - I still have nightmares about the game. The performances above this were GOD compared to that debacle! Loudest cheer of the day when Alcaraz got red.

Also, dishonourable mentions to: Nyarko vs Arsenal (April 2001), Unsworth vs Arsenal (March 1997), Materazzi vs Sheff Wed (April 1999)

For worst opposition players I'd go for:
Pepe Reina (RS 2006 - showed great reflexes in catching Johnson's head...)

Paul McShane (Sunderland 2007 - already mentioned)

Gary Kelly (Leeds 2003 - McFadden literally raped him)

Mickael Forsell (Birmingham 2006 - We had diddly squat to play for but Brum needed a win to survive, we weren't great but they were rank! Couldn't threaten us at all even with a proven gooser up front! Ended 0-0)

Gary Doherty (Spurs 2004, Norwich 2005 - terrible in both games!)

Bjorn Tore Kvarme (RS 1997 - pwned by the squid!)

Could go on

 

[Blue 1]

Gary Kelly (Leeds 2003 - McFadden literally raped him)

 

[Sapie88]

Barkley v Chelsea last season.

 

[Prevenger17]

He was shoehorned in at centre back against us, so he might not deserve this, but Carrick was absolutely bummed by Fellaini when we beat them two years back.

 

[TGW89]

Fook me, Zordon's REALLY let himself go!

 

[Hellerad]

Wilshire vs. Everton, 2013.

Wilshire couldn't take 2 steps without stepping in his own massive vajeen, turning his ankle, and moaning at the ref.

Pantomime theatre at its worst. Mirallas gave him a rinsing on and off the pitch.

 

[blue61]

Doug Rougvie near the end of his career for Fulham, getting well and truly snotted 7-0 by Chester in the early nineties. He must have been responsible for at least four of the goals. When Fulham made their last sub and his number didn't come up, his head visibly dropped. It was painful to watch really. Stevie Wonder would have played better.

Edit And Glen Keeley ffs.

 

[The Esk]

Much as I like the guy Tony Hibbert's performance in the first half of the 2009 FA Cup Final is worthy of a mention.

 

[Professor Toffee]

Alcaraz against Kiev was the most horrendous performance of recent memory.

Appalling performance, gets my vote, surprised he was able to find his way onto the plane

 

[Goat]

Arouna Kone.

 

[49ers]

Sol Campbell v the spammers 2-3 in the final season at Highbury. Went missing on the pitch for 2 goals then actually went missing at half time.

Excellent defender but nutty as a fruit cake. Sadly the fruit cake turned up at that game.
Bizarrely the spammers are the last team to beat us Highbury and the first to beat us at the Grove.