Workplace Etiquette

[JimmyJeffers]

There’s always someone who is overly dressed up for office work. Like wearing braces and strong aftershave and stuff. Can usually be found letching around a group of younger females. Makes me sick.

 

[Tommy.]

Being ex forces I've quite a few stories, including, but not limited to:

1. My mate getting bladdered and crapping in my hoover bag.
2. Another mate taking a "backwards crap" in the girls toilet which resulted in the WO having all the girls outside for a talking to after the cleaner complained. I only got to hear "Ladies, there's a disgusting creature amongst you" before I had to run away stifling laughter.
3. A lad getting his sandwich spiked with a crushed viagra with 6 hours of a shift left to go.
4. A lad having his tupperware packed lunch getting filled with water and slung in the freezer.
5. Another lad getting tie wrapped to a towing arm for 9 hours on his birthday, covered in french chalk and water.
6. A nobhead I have zero sympathy for left his room window open when he went on leave for 3 weeks in the summer, within 24 hours someone had slung a pretty sizeable fish through it.

 

[LEONARD]

The latest warning from the Kremlin ( our HR dept.) now warns us against acts of 'non-physical' violence.

This definition of 'violence' is now so broad and ambiguous that merely mispronouncing someone's name is seen as an act of aggression.

Thank God I am getting out of this Orwellian dystopia soon.

I truly dread for the future of all our daughters and son's.