Hellerad
j'accuse!
Disclaimer: I say soccer. Suck it.
*fishes some hard candy from his pocket and grumbles about youths.
Back in my day, the best I ever hoped for, as a home supporter of the American men's team, was to be surrounded by happily drunk Honduran fans instead of annoyingly drunk Mexican fans. 90 minutes of deafening "hon-DUER-aaaace, hon-DUER-aaaace" was vastly preferable to 90 minutes of taunting (if we were losing) or threats (if we weren't losing).
Lately, home games almost feel like home games. Some Mexican fans are still prone to aggressive petulance, but its easy enough to find a group of 5-6 other American fans so you can yell back "Dos y Cero!" in relative safety.
Now we have bastions of soccer fandom like Kansas City, where soccer moms shield their children's eyes from the moral ambiguity of the modern American soccer fan. Beer flows, sweaty backs breathe in the clean night air, and grown men wear bandanas and chant obscenities at each other.
The Scarves and Stripes
Tonight we host Panama, a country we kind-of, sort-of created out ofa love of democracy a need to control shipping lanes for an entire hemisphere. But then mankind learned to fly and air freight became less expensive and the canal became less profitable and we gave it all back.
Sorry Colombia
Wait, right, soccer.
The Americans, led by Lex Luthor, will continue to play our generic brand of Latin-Germanic-Athletic-Run-Ball that I like to call Zimmerman ball. In this system, the goalkeeper must be bald, the center half pairing must barely know one another and speak two different, non-English, languages, and midfield diamond will spray passes around at a rate that would make Jack Wilshire fall down and hold his knee.
At some point Clint Dempsey will start falling over and sneering.
Will we score? Probably. Will we win? Probably. Does it matter? No. We've already clinched.
The American men celebrate the 2007 Gold Cup only months before Frankie Hejduk reinvented himself as Shaun White.
When I'm not busy watching every player in the world who Everton might be interested in signing so that I can be informed as to their talents, I'm avoiding watching Panama play. My in depth analysis of Panama is limited to the color of their jersey: Blue.
Oh, its red? Well crap.
According to other sources which I just read in the last 5 minutes, Panama has a "weakened" squad. They tied Haiti and Honduras. I know Blas Perez from FC Dallas. He's getting older, but he's a threat.
*checks watch
I tried to use the CONCACAF website to see who the US would play in the Quarterfinals, but it tried to extort money out of me, gave me 2 viruses, tried to sell me an anti-virus software, and then turned itself in for money laundering.
In conclusion, American soccer ball win win win.
*waves at @MoutsGoat
*fishes some hard candy from his pocket and grumbles about youths.
Back in my day, the best I ever hoped for, as a home supporter of the American men's team, was to be surrounded by happily drunk Honduran fans instead of annoyingly drunk Mexican fans. 90 minutes of deafening "hon-DUER-aaaace, hon-DUER-aaaace" was vastly preferable to 90 minutes of taunting (if we were losing) or threats (if we weren't losing).
Lately, home games almost feel like home games. Some Mexican fans are still prone to aggressive petulance, but its easy enough to find a group of 5-6 other American fans so you can yell back "Dos y Cero!" in relative safety.
Now we have bastions of soccer fandom like Kansas City, where soccer moms shield their children's eyes from the moral ambiguity of the modern American soccer fan. Beer flows, sweaty backs breathe in the clean night air, and grown men wear bandanas and chant obscenities at each other.
The Scarves and Stripes
Tonight we host Panama, a country we kind-of, sort-of created out of
Sorry Colombia
Wait, right, soccer.
The Americans, led by Lex Luthor, will continue to play our generic brand of Latin-Germanic-Athletic-Run-Ball that I like to call Zimmerman ball. In this system, the goalkeeper must be bald, the center half pairing must barely know one another and speak two different, non-English, languages, and midfield diamond will spray passes around at a rate that would make Jack Wilshire fall down and hold his knee.
At some point Clint Dempsey will start falling over and sneering.
Will we score? Probably. Will we win? Probably. Does it matter? No. We've already clinched.
The American men celebrate the 2007 Gold Cup only months before Frankie Hejduk reinvented himself as Shaun White.
When I'm not busy watching every player in the world who Everton might be interested in signing so that I can be informed as to their talents, I'm avoiding watching Panama play. My in depth analysis of Panama is limited to the color of their jersey: Blue.
Oh, its red? Well crap.
According to other sources which I just read in the last 5 minutes, Panama has a "weakened" squad. They tied Haiti and Honduras. I know Blas Perez from FC Dallas. He's getting older, but he's a threat.
*checks watch
I tried to use the CONCACAF website to see who the US would play in the Quarterfinals, but it tried to extort money out of me, gave me 2 viruses, tried to sell me an anti-virus software, and then turned itself in for money laundering.
In conclusion, American soccer ball win win win.
*waves at @MoutsGoat
