*all previews are final and no refunds will be given after purchase
NO SHORE TOO DISTANT
NO MINNOW TOO SMALL
NO PREVIEW TOO TERRIBLE
The Gold Cup group stage matches are upon us and although most of you could care less, you’ve still clicked here to read about the match and whine about the USMNT and Americans in general.
Since less is known about the Haitian team, I’ll preview them first to get that out of the way before I introduce the patriotic gifs. In fact, if you’re interested in perceptive and useful analysis, go ahead and skip to the bottom where the comments begin. You’ll find little of that stuff here. Normally I’d unapologetically borrow something from Soccer by Ives or the Shin Guardian, probably even passing it off as my own to see if you notice, but since they don’t seem to be interested in writing their own preview for this match what will be contained herein and below is semi-original swill that (I hope) goes down easily. *SBI preview now available
Nestled in the Spanish-speaking Caribbean hotbed of MLB talent that is Cuba and the Dominican Republic, Haiti is instead a French-speaking nation with debatable interest in the American Pastime. Off to the venerable wiki…
*This might not actually be an image of the Haitian squad; like I CBA looking that up
Their Captain and GK is Johnny Placide, which is a wonderful name. I fully expect to see this Ligue 1 talent keep his cool while being thrashed by the Yanks. Haiti also field MF Jeff Louis who plays for Standard Liege. I’ll stop while I’m ahead.
Oh, did I mention that these drew 1-1 with Panama in Frisco? /End opposition scouting.
That same evening, Der Mighty USMNT topped Honduras 2-1 in a largely disappointing display. Maybe I’ve not watched enough USMNT matches to claim knowledgeable interpretation of his nonverbal cues, but does Der Skipper always seem so nervous on the touchline? I couldn’t tell whether he wanted to jog onto the field and show his players exactly what he instructed them to do or if he looked like the sort of person who had cut his most talented and experienced player from the roster and only recently begun deeply regretting this decision.
We really didn’t learn very much watching the Honduras match (because really there isn’t anything to say on the Haiti match). We already knew that Der Skipper fancies Germans over MLS veterans. We already knew that he likes fast kids over experience. We already knew that he likes to play a diamond midfield. I’m not sure many were surprised with the result; we can only hope that Klinsmann hits his form before the Gold Cup is over.
GRATUITOUS CARLI LLOYD GIF
GK & Defense
I expect Klinsmann will feature Guzan throughout the Gold Cup to see if he can be a successor to Howard. Guzan didn’t impress at Villa last time, and if I were Der Skipper I’d give him an extended run. But I’m not—instead I’m wasting your time with this crappy preview, so who knows whether we may see Rimando rotated through.
I do expect to see rotation at CB, and had expected to see Brooks and Alvarado together against Haiti. For young CBs with little experience together, these two impressed me against Honduras. Surprising that only yesteryear we were ready to declare Gonzalez and Besler the future of the US backline, but not Brooks seems to have surpassed them both. Given that he already has a Yellow we may see Brooks sit to give Omar a chance with Alvarado. *I’ll mention here that Brooks is one of three in this squad I’ve love to see wearing blue on Mersey.
Timmy Chandler was unimpressive, which is his MO. I hope he’s rotated out for Yedlin or Evans or Ream. Fabian Johnson was impressive, as usual, but I think we might see Greg Garza on the left against Haiti. I liked Garza the last time I watched him. *I should note that I always want to write Greg Garcia instead of Garza, and I’ve never even watched any of Garcia’s shows. That only further confirms how little I know about the FB positions.
Midfield
Against Honduras we saw a 2-man midfield. Despite the obvious promise of Zardes and Yedlin, neither are midfielders, much less capable of playing the wide positions in the diamond that Klinsmann prefers to use. Instead we saw two very capable players isolated and inundated by Honduras’ Hack a Yank style of play. Clearly Beckerman, America’s Barry, is too slow to play a sitting role without help. Bradley seemed to do well enough pushed upfield, but I still think he does best playing from deep. Let’s hope that Klinsmann decides to play Mix or Bedoya (or both) as he rotates his midfield. A 4231 display with Zardes and Yedlin pushed up would have worked much better than what we watched Tuesday.
The General should provide another decent performance Friday no matter who is paired with him as he begins his second 100 caps for the USMNT. *I would love to see Bradley in Everton’s midfield, despite the fact that his skills duplicate what Martinez has already assembled and his desire to start every match exceeds FM levels of transfer request nuisance. *I also wouldn’t mind seeing Yedlin join on loan for a year to practice his RB/RMF skills under Coleman before his career unfolds in North London.
Forwards
Jozy is Jozy, a quite square peg. When Der Skipper decides to play him in a square hole, we will see good results. Otherwise he’s lost up front. Deuce is Deuce, and he will always deliver the same results, arm band or not. The USMNT needs more of these.
Wondowlowskiw is dead to me, and that’s all I’ll say. Where does Johansson fit? I have absolutely no clue. I’d rather see Klinsmann play a single striker and push the kids into wide front positions, but expecting a reasonable tactical switch is something I know longer believe in, having witnessed Barkley’s wanderings in the desert for 40 matches and 40 nights.
PREDICTION: USMNT doing the bumming, Haiti doing the receiving.
NO SHORE TOO DISTANT
NO MINNOW TOO SMALL
NO PREVIEW TOO TERRIBLE
The Gold Cup group stage matches are upon us and although most of you could care less, you’ve still clicked here to read about the match and whine about the USMNT and Americans in general.
Since less is known about the Haitian team, I’ll preview them first to get that out of the way before I introduce the patriotic gifs. In fact, if you’re interested in perceptive and useful analysis, go ahead and skip to the bottom where the comments begin. You’ll find little of that stuff here. Normally I’d unapologetically borrow something from Soccer by Ives or the Shin Guardian, probably even passing it off as my own to see if you notice, but since they don’t seem to be interested in writing their own preview for this match what will be contained herein and below is semi-original swill that (I hope) goes down easily. *SBI preview now available
Nestled in the Spanish-speaking Caribbean hotbed of MLB talent that is Cuba and the Dominican Republic, Haiti is instead a French-speaking nation with debatable interest in the American Pastime. Off to the venerable wiki…
*This might not actually be an image of the Haitian squad; like I CBA looking that up
Their Captain and GK is Johnny Placide, which is a wonderful name. I fully expect to see this Ligue 1 talent keep his cool while being thrashed by the Yanks. Haiti also field MF Jeff Louis who plays for Standard Liege. I’ll stop while I’m ahead.
Oh, did I mention that these drew 1-1 with Panama in Frisco? /End opposition scouting.
That same evening, Der Mighty USMNT topped Honduras 2-1 in a largely disappointing display. Maybe I’ve not watched enough USMNT matches to claim knowledgeable interpretation of his nonverbal cues, but does Der Skipper always seem so nervous on the touchline? I couldn’t tell whether he wanted to jog onto the field and show his players exactly what he instructed them to do or if he looked like the sort of person who had cut his most talented and experienced player from the roster and only recently begun deeply regretting this decision.
We really didn’t learn very much watching the Honduras match (because really there isn’t anything to say on the Haiti match). We already knew that Der Skipper fancies Germans over MLS veterans. We already knew that he likes fast kids over experience. We already knew that he likes to play a diamond midfield. I’m not sure many were surprised with the result; we can only hope that Klinsmann hits his form before the Gold Cup is over.
GRATUITOUS CARLI LLOYD GIF
GK & Defense
I expect Klinsmann will feature Guzan throughout the Gold Cup to see if he can be a successor to Howard. Guzan didn’t impress at Villa last time, and if I were Der Skipper I’d give him an extended run. But I’m not—instead I’m wasting your time with this crappy preview, so who knows whether we may see Rimando rotated through.
I do expect to see rotation at CB, and had expected to see Brooks and Alvarado together against Haiti. For young CBs with little experience together, these two impressed me against Honduras. Surprising that only yesteryear we were ready to declare Gonzalez and Besler the future of the US backline, but not Brooks seems to have surpassed them both. Given that he already has a Yellow we may see Brooks sit to give Omar a chance with Alvarado. *I’ll mention here that Brooks is one of three in this squad I’ve love to see wearing blue on Mersey.
Timmy Chandler was unimpressive, which is his MO. I hope he’s rotated out for Yedlin or Evans or Ream. Fabian Johnson was impressive, as usual, but I think we might see Greg Garza on the left against Haiti. I liked Garza the last time I watched him. *I should note that I always want to write Greg Garcia instead of Garza, and I’ve never even watched any of Garcia’s shows. That only further confirms how little I know about the FB positions.
Midfield
Against Honduras we saw a 2-man midfield. Despite the obvious promise of Zardes and Yedlin, neither are midfielders, much less capable of playing the wide positions in the diamond that Klinsmann prefers to use. Instead we saw two very capable players isolated and inundated by Honduras’ Hack a Yank style of play. Clearly Beckerman, America’s Barry, is too slow to play a sitting role without help. Bradley seemed to do well enough pushed upfield, but I still think he does best playing from deep. Let’s hope that Klinsmann decides to play Mix or Bedoya (or both) as he rotates his midfield. A 4231 display with Zardes and Yedlin pushed up would have worked much better than what we watched Tuesday.
The General should provide another decent performance Friday no matter who is paired with him as he begins his second 100 caps for the USMNT. *I would love to see Bradley in Everton’s midfield, despite the fact that his skills duplicate what Martinez has already assembled and his desire to start every match exceeds FM levels of transfer request nuisance. *I also wouldn’t mind seeing Yedlin join on loan for a year to practice his RB/RMF skills under Coleman before his career unfolds in North London.
Forwards
Jozy is Jozy, a quite square peg. When Der Skipper decides to play him in a square hole, we will see good results. Otherwise he’s lost up front. Deuce is Deuce, and he will always deliver the same results, arm band or not. The USMNT needs more of these.
Wondowlowskiw is dead to me, and that’s all I’ll say. Where does Johansson fit? I have absolutely no clue. I’d rather see Klinsmann play a single striker and push the kids into wide front positions, but expecting a reasonable tactical switch is something I know longer believe in, having witnessed Barkley’s wanderings in the desert for 40 matches and 40 nights.
PREDICTION: USMNT doing the bumming, Haiti doing the receiving.
.
