We need to talk about Everton, you and I. About them royal blues doing all manner of good things that make you feel just great on the weekend. Well that’s the hope anyway.
This weekend is a big one because we're chasing fourth place as some sort of perceived springboard to better times – even though it doesn't come with a cup. I'm starting to think that if our near neighbours do achieve that fourth spot then there will be an open top bus around the city. Whereas we want it mostly for some games in boss European cities that serve soul soothing cool local beer and attractive different faced girls to ogle at. Quite often for Evertonians the football gets in the way.
But lets stick to that football for the purposes of these thrown together words. Everton done some of them good things in our last match against Villa. With the games running out in the season now there’s an over bigging up of the importance of each game but coming back from one down post derby thrashing and with a weakened first team was huge. Really huge. Like bigger than a Jordan first born big.
The three game sequence of WBA, Liverpool and Villa yielded four points instead of one due to our second half turnaround which is far from a disaster. And it kept some sort of momentum up.
That momentum takes us smoothly into the Seven Sisters train station for an early Sunday afternoon kick off again Tottenham Hotspur, abbreviated to Spurs from this point on.
An away game at Spurs is never an easy fixture as they also have a selection of talented players even if they seldom get a season’s consistency out of them and challenge for the title as they should, with the money and infrastructure at the club. This season is a case in point. They sold their best player to Real Madrid for a ridiculous amount of money and then handed the lion's share of that money to a thirteen year old acne covered lid playing Football Manager 2013.
On the forum attached to this site there was jealous eyes all round as they purchased supposed suave socceristas in Lamela, Eriksen, Chiriches, Capoue, Soldado, Chadli and Paulinho. Good business apparently, except not many of them have turned out to be as ace as they sound on the football pitch. That’s up to now like, there’s still time for their game to be brought on by the space age management skills and psychological head coaching from their current manager Dr Tim Sherwood.
What an absolute knuckle he is.
I have no doubt in my mind that in his office you will find a mounted and dusted NEBS certificate proudly displayed over his left shoulder on the wall along with Health and Safety certification and Superdrug own brand hand gel on the corner of his desk. Lynx Africa, that’s what you can smell. The place reeks of it and he has three cans stored in his middle drawer. Your eyes are drawn to Sun Tzu’s The Art Of War strategically placed sufficiently off central on the desk but you know its been deliberately put there. Look at him, engaging you will new team leader phrases always returning your question with a question itself. Rumour has it that he can stare out any land mammal in nine seconds, a rumour started by himself while trying to bond with the YTS lad cleaning the corridor and hoping to work his way up.
He’s in charge. Call him boss you and don't ever forget it. When’s your next Personal Development Plan session? Why don't you know? You should have that marked in your diary and be actively working on your development points from our last chat. How seriously are you taking this role? I'm only trying to develop you which is no bad thing right.
I hope a feral badger bites his f*cking face off the Gucci shoe and no sock wearing personality fascist prick.
That apart they do have some good players who we might want to watch out for. Soldado looks like a GCSE student started drawing his face then got bored halfway through and rushed to the end. He’s not as a bad as some are making him out to but he’s no twenty five million pound striker – he needs someone to play off but the lid can net. Then there’s the small matter of Adebayor – the egotistical lanky tit – who is a match winner when he’s turned on. That nugget Sherwood could play both of them up front but its more likely he'll so similar to us and play an attacking trio behind one of them, probably Adebayor.
Playmaker Eriksen is a Spurs player if I ever seen one. On his day he’s a defence bothering technical player with smart movement and clever passing. Andos Townsend is meant to be fit for this and if he shares the pitch with Ross Barkley there will be two players on the same pitch who like to shoot. Watch how many shots both try, I bet they were boss at shooty back in the day. Respective best for their age on the estate.
The young lad playing deep in midfield is likely to be dropped for either Sandro or Paulinho who will play alongside the most super Dembele. A very good player indeed and sad news for us that returns from injury for this game. Is Lennon compensating for being dead small by shaving stripes into his eyebrows still? He should complete the midfield.
Spurs seldom have a very tight defence. They do at the moment have a selection of centre backs to the point where I can't second guess who they will start. Choose from Dawson, Kaboul, Chiriches and Vertonghen. Walker and Rose are as attacking full backs as most, including ours. Lloris looks like he’s about to break down and cry right at the point you criticise his homemade bread.
Its worth pointing out that despite the writing off of Spurs they are sat two points better off than what they were at the same stage last season and still to hit a consistent run of form. This be no easy game, but you knew that.
I’m going to give them pass on poor parochial stereotyping as near enough everyone down Tottenham Court Road are not British never mind local and I prefer Spurs to Arsenal fans. I like a team that is prone to implosion as I feel a kinship with them. Pipe down Chas at the back – you're still scruffy cockney beauts ok.
So that Everton then. The injuries at present seem to be easing a little and that’s much needed as we were feeling the effects of them on the pitch. Up front has turned into a problem with Lukaku’s injury. Traore should be in the squad but I'm not sure he'll be fit enough to start this. Despite Mirallas’ best efforts; up front on his own is not his game. But another customary nice word for Naismith who came on and took his goal well. He'll probably be subbed after sixty minutes here but is right, I'm pleased for him. He’s a lot more comfortable in the centre and should be swerved on the wings. I reckon Martinez will start him here.
Barkley is still feeling his way back from the injury so although we assume he'll start although he could be rotated to allow either Mirallas, Osman or Mirallas to play behind the striker. We'll find out in due course. Pienaar returns to his old club very much trending himself as a home game player, would be nice to see him turn up away from home. McGeady is like playing FIFA but with a fault on the right stick resulting in multiple tricks occurring out of the blue when you're trying to simply sprint forward. When it comes off he will look f*cking tremendous.
When it doesn't, well, who’s that peculiar faced Catalan sat on the bench? Welcome back Gerard Deulofeu you pacey box of ace stuff. Your abilities have got better each week you've been out. I keep thinking of Arsenal and swerving the times when you do something daft and lose possession in a dangerous position. Go and ace them you, go on.
You know what the central defence is and who our left back is going to be. Hopefully the beautiful Irishman at right back will return as we’ve missed his persistent abuse of the opposition’s entire left side and regular goals. Tim Howard – really lovely catch in injury time that by the way – shall keep our goal.
So there. Get anything out of this game and it will be a good result, that’s not being defeatist its just how it is. As ace are we are this is a Spurs team with good players and desperate for a result after a couple of bad ones themselves. On home soil. Vying for the last Champions League position.
We shouldn’t tiptoe around this though. We won't have as much as the ball as were used to but then Spurs won't play as a deep as the opposition usually does, so we will get our opportunities. And if we take them? Oh boy! If we take them!
And that concludes our little chat about Everton. I want more of those great weekend things. Right into these.
This weekend is a big one because we're chasing fourth place as some sort of perceived springboard to better times – even though it doesn't come with a cup. I'm starting to think that if our near neighbours do achieve that fourth spot then there will be an open top bus around the city. Whereas we want it mostly for some games in boss European cities that serve soul soothing cool local beer and attractive different faced girls to ogle at. Quite often for Evertonians the football gets in the way.
But lets stick to that football for the purposes of these thrown together words. Everton done some of them good things in our last match against Villa. With the games running out in the season now there’s an over bigging up of the importance of each game but coming back from one down post derby thrashing and with a weakened first team was huge. Really huge. Like bigger than a Jordan first born big.
The three game sequence of WBA, Liverpool and Villa yielded four points instead of one due to our second half turnaround which is far from a disaster. And it kept some sort of momentum up.
That momentum takes us smoothly into the Seven Sisters train station for an early Sunday afternoon kick off again Tottenham Hotspur, abbreviated to Spurs from this point on.
An away game at Spurs is never an easy fixture as they also have a selection of talented players even if they seldom get a season’s consistency out of them and challenge for the title as they should, with the money and infrastructure at the club. This season is a case in point. They sold their best player to Real Madrid for a ridiculous amount of money and then handed the lion's share of that money to a thirteen year old acne covered lid playing Football Manager 2013.
On the forum attached to this site there was jealous eyes all round as they purchased supposed suave socceristas in Lamela, Eriksen, Chiriches, Capoue, Soldado, Chadli and Paulinho. Good business apparently, except not many of them have turned out to be as ace as they sound on the football pitch. That’s up to now like, there’s still time for their game to be brought on by the space age management skills and psychological head coaching from their current manager Dr Tim Sherwood.
What an absolute knuckle he is.
I have no doubt in my mind that in his office you will find a mounted and dusted NEBS certificate proudly displayed over his left shoulder on the wall along with Health and Safety certification and Superdrug own brand hand gel on the corner of his desk. Lynx Africa, that’s what you can smell. The place reeks of it and he has three cans stored in his middle drawer. Your eyes are drawn to Sun Tzu’s The Art Of War strategically placed sufficiently off central on the desk but you know its been deliberately put there. Look at him, engaging you will new team leader phrases always returning your question with a question itself. Rumour has it that he can stare out any land mammal in nine seconds, a rumour started by himself while trying to bond with the YTS lad cleaning the corridor and hoping to work his way up.
He’s in charge. Call him boss you and don't ever forget it. When’s your next Personal Development Plan session? Why don't you know? You should have that marked in your diary and be actively working on your development points from our last chat. How seriously are you taking this role? I'm only trying to develop you which is no bad thing right.
I hope a feral badger bites his f*cking face off the Gucci shoe and no sock wearing personality fascist prick.
That apart they do have some good players who we might want to watch out for. Soldado looks like a GCSE student started drawing his face then got bored halfway through and rushed to the end. He’s not as a bad as some are making him out to but he’s no twenty five million pound striker – he needs someone to play off but the lid can net. Then there’s the small matter of Adebayor – the egotistical lanky tit – who is a match winner when he’s turned on. That nugget Sherwood could play both of them up front but its more likely he'll so similar to us and play an attacking trio behind one of them, probably Adebayor.
Playmaker Eriksen is a Spurs player if I ever seen one. On his day he’s a defence bothering technical player with smart movement and clever passing. Andos Townsend is meant to be fit for this and if he shares the pitch with Ross Barkley there will be two players on the same pitch who like to shoot. Watch how many shots both try, I bet they were boss at shooty back in the day. Respective best for their age on the estate.
The young lad playing deep in midfield is likely to be dropped for either Sandro or Paulinho who will play alongside the most super Dembele. A very good player indeed and sad news for us that returns from injury for this game. Is Lennon compensating for being dead small by shaving stripes into his eyebrows still? He should complete the midfield.
Spurs seldom have a very tight defence. They do at the moment have a selection of centre backs to the point where I can't second guess who they will start. Choose from Dawson, Kaboul, Chiriches and Vertonghen. Walker and Rose are as attacking full backs as most, including ours. Lloris looks like he’s about to break down and cry right at the point you criticise his homemade bread.
Its worth pointing out that despite the writing off of Spurs they are sat two points better off than what they were at the same stage last season and still to hit a consistent run of form. This be no easy game, but you knew that.
I’m going to give them pass on poor parochial stereotyping as near enough everyone down Tottenham Court Road are not British never mind local and I prefer Spurs to Arsenal fans. I like a team that is prone to implosion as I feel a kinship with them. Pipe down Chas at the back – you're still scruffy cockney beauts ok.
So that Everton then. The injuries at present seem to be easing a little and that’s much needed as we were feeling the effects of them on the pitch. Up front has turned into a problem with Lukaku’s injury. Traore should be in the squad but I'm not sure he'll be fit enough to start this. Despite Mirallas’ best efforts; up front on his own is not his game. But another customary nice word for Naismith who came on and took his goal well. He'll probably be subbed after sixty minutes here but is right, I'm pleased for him. He’s a lot more comfortable in the centre and should be swerved on the wings. I reckon Martinez will start him here.
Barkley is still feeling his way back from the injury so although we assume he'll start although he could be rotated to allow either Mirallas, Osman or Mirallas to play behind the striker. We'll find out in due course. Pienaar returns to his old club very much trending himself as a home game player, would be nice to see him turn up away from home. McGeady is like playing FIFA but with a fault on the right stick resulting in multiple tricks occurring out of the blue when you're trying to simply sprint forward. When it comes off he will look f*cking tremendous.
When it doesn't, well, who’s that peculiar faced Catalan sat on the bench? Welcome back Gerard Deulofeu you pacey box of ace stuff. Your abilities have got better each week you've been out. I keep thinking of Arsenal and swerving the times when you do something daft and lose possession in a dangerous position. Go and ace them you, go on.
You know what the central defence is and who our left back is going to be. Hopefully the beautiful Irishman at right back will return as we’ve missed his persistent abuse of the opposition’s entire left side and regular goals. Tim Howard – really lovely catch in injury time that by the way – shall keep our goal.
So there. Get anything out of this game and it will be a good result, that’s not being defeatist its just how it is. As ace are we are this is a Spurs team with good players and desperate for a result after a couple of bad ones themselves. On home soil. Vying for the last Champions League position.
We shouldn’t tiptoe around this though. We won't have as much as the ball as were used to but then Spurs won't play as a deep as the opposition usually does, so we will get our opportunities. And if we take them? Oh boy! If we take them!
And that concludes our little chat about Everton. I want more of those great weekend things. Right into these.
