The Worst Night Out You’ve Ever Had

[witchdoc187]

Happened to me in a bar in Luxembourg that. Sat at the bar drinking myself into a stupor and a stripper just came up and started talking to me. it was pretty dead in there so I thought nothing of it. After 5 minutes she went ok that will be 20 euros. I wouldn't mind but she didn't even mention her chuff. I can't remember what we were talking about but it certainly wasn't sexual. I paid her and asked her to leave me alone, not because I wanted to pay the thieving cow but because the bouncer stood by the door looked like Bam Bam Bigelow.


My worst night out will be the night I met my missus. Mathew St of all places as well. If she ever reads this I'm gonna say I was hacked.

Haha. Yeah she hadn't even danced, just told me she was skint and to give her €50. Then when I refused she got really angry and said something to the bouncer. Looked a potentially difficult situation until I calmed everything down with my comedy exit. Pretty sure I walked by the same place later and the windows had been put in

 

[witchdoc187]

I was on a night out and had a similar decision to make. Kebab, or taxi.

I chose the Kebab. But ordered it for delivery and the driver let me jump in.

I ordered a free delivery to my house from a kebab House when I was stood outside and asked the driver to give me a lift. He was not remotely amused.

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

Driving to work one day and my boss called and said go home, get your passport and meet me at Heathrow airport as we’re off to Tel Aviv for a business meeting, dress code will be smart.

So I duly complied and turned up at Heathrow wearing a suit and carrying a laptop with a toothbrush and a fresh pair of bills. We then took off on an air Italia flight to Rome to catch a connection to Tel Aviv. We get to Rome and it’s fog-bound, all flights were grounded, so we hit the bar.

My boss was an ex Army WO (Royal Sigs) of Irish descent and could drink like a fish. So we must of had about 5 pints of Carlsberg Elephant at the bar before being told they were bussing us to a hotel for the night.

We got to the hotel and immediately jumped in a cab into Rome (destination Irish pub). There then followed an almighty session of Guiness and Jameson chasers before hitting some dodgy lap bar.

I remember getting kicked out for not paying a girl for a dance and decided to take a piss on a nearby scooter. The scooter owner rocked-up and then it all got a bit funky. Upshot is my boss got me out of harms way and into a taxi. I then proceeded to vomit all over myself and all over the cab driver. I don’t remember anything else that night.

Woke up next morning to catch our flight and I stink of vom and look like [Poor language removed]. My boss had to pay the cabbie a load of money to stop him calling the police.

Anyway on the flight to Tel Aviv slept all the way, sitting there stinking of puke!

Got to Tel Aviv and all the shops were shut as it was Thursday evening. So had to turn up for the meeting next morning wearing the same smelly suit (I did put on my fresh bills though).

Still good mates with my ex boss and he quite rightly reminds me of the state I was in at every opportunity.

 

[Rob17896]

Plenty of reprobates on here and I’m sat on a work course bored as anything; what’s the most depressing/chaotic/sadistic/life questioning night out you’ve ever had?

21st Birthday. Massive Beatles fan and John Lennon had been shot in the early hours of the 9th here. Only ended up going out to talk about it with my friends. That followed being released from hospital with a pinned up leg and recovering from a bad head injury for my 18th. Fortunately all other big birthdays passed without incident!

 

[Charles Hawtrey]

Years ago....Went to Bangkok for a trip with some mates as we were working out that way. Had a great week and then they all went off down to the south of Thailand but I only had a week off so had to go back. They left and I had one night there on my own. Went out for a quiet pint - that's all just to pass the time until my flight the next morning. l ended up bladdered, someone slipped me a mickey, remember taking a blonde Thai girl to my hotel room (hallucination??), woke up in the morning with all my money gone and no passport in my room - I'd missed the flight anyway...

 

[KaiserEFC]

Years ago....Went to Bangkok for a trip with some mates as we were working out that way. Had a great week and then they all went off down to the south of Thailand but I only had a week off so had to go back. They left and I had one night there on my own. Went out for a quiet pint - that's all just to pass the time until my flight the next morning. l ended up bladdered, someone slipped me a mickey, remember taking a blonde Thai girl to my hotel room (hallucination??), woke up in the morning with all my money gone and no passport in my room - I'd missed the flight anyway...

There’s a disturbing amount of blokes getting spiked in here lol