The Worst Night Out You’ve Ever Had
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Alanbileysfeathercut
Player Valuation: £80m
The night I met Mrs A B
Tuesday, pubs are always very quiet.
Tough one to answer... The worst nights are the best nights out. I won't share those.
The worst one was fairly uneventful but was cut short. Was out with a load of mates and had a fair bit to drink. We were all sat down and a bird leaned across me to talk to someone. She slipped and full on elbow dropped me in the nuts. Had to go home early as I felt sick to my stomach... Could barely walk.
The worst one was fairly uneventful but was cut short. Was out with a load of mates and had a fair bit to drink. We were all sat down and a bird leaned across me to talk to someone. She slipped and full on elbow dropped me in the nuts. Had to go home early as I felt sick to my stomach... Could barely walk.
coollino
Player Valuation: £80m
Once in Lincoln. All my mates got in a club, I got searched and got found so I wasn't allowed it and they just left me.
So i was just walking about on my own, slightly [Poor language removed], Inna city I haven't been to in October or something. It was ok (in my head) until 1am or so as I was just going to [Poor language removed] wetherspoons type of bars and dancing on my own to Timbaland with a blue WKD, thinking I was hilarious.
But from 2am - 6am or so it was grim and cold and I sat on a swing on my own for about an hour.
So i was just walking about on my own, slightly [Poor language removed], Inna city I haven't been to in October or something. It was ok (in my head) until 1am or so as I was just going to [Poor language removed] wetherspoons type of bars and dancing on my own to Timbaland with a blue WKD, thinking I was hilarious.
But from 2am - 6am or so it was grim and cold and I sat on a swing on my own for about an hour.
bluerobert
Player Valuation: £35m
Not my night out but the story always tickles me.
years ago a few mates went out on Christmas Eve, used to be a thing they did every year. They’d go out early, get on it and be out for the duration.
one year a couple of them off their faces went to get a brass. They were both getting a chew and one of them said to the other I bet you wouldn’t throw your brass over that wall. Mid chew he picked her up and launched her, the 2 of them ran off laughing like school kids and their pimp came out of nowhere and they closed lined him and jumped into a taxi back to one of their houses.
the lad lived with his mum, dad and little sister at the time. They found themselves in the living room about 10pm off their chops with his entire family sat there giving them the Spanish Inquisition about their night. Mid questioning the lads mum stops and says what’s that on the floor? They both look down and the lad who’s house it wasn’t the Johnny he’d had on while getting a chew had come off and was hanging out the bottom of his trousers stuck to his shoe. Everyone in the room started laughing at him and they both retreated to the lads bedroom to carry on with the drink and sniff drinking red bull and vodka out of a cut in half plastic bottle of blag red bull cos they didn’t want to go back down for a glass
years ago a few mates went out on Christmas Eve, used to be a thing they did every year. They’d go out early, get on it and be out for the duration.
one year a couple of them off their faces went to get a brass. They were both getting a chew and one of them said to the other I bet you wouldn’t throw your brass over that wall. Mid chew he picked her up and launched her, the 2 of them ran off laughing like school kids and their pimp came out of nowhere and they closed lined him and jumped into a taxi back to one of their houses.
the lad lived with his mum, dad and little sister at the time. They found themselves in the living room about 10pm off their chops with his entire family sat there giving them the Spanish Inquisition about their night. Mid questioning the lads mum stops and says what’s that on the floor? They both look down and the lad who’s house it wasn’t the Johnny he’d had on while getting a chew had come off and was hanging out the bottom of his trousers stuck to his shoe. Everyone in the room started laughing at him and they both retreated to the lads bedroom to carry on with the drink and sniff drinking red bull and vodka out of a cut in half plastic bottle of blag red bull cos they didn’t want to go back down for a glass
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £80m
A Monday night in Stirling. Just no one around in any bar or pub. Incredible.
Went to a free party once and a load of bollocks that was going on on site at the time spilled over into the party, a few of our crew ended up having to give a beatdown to a guy we knew and lock him in the back of a van and try to talk him down, for trying to stab his mate who he'd convinced himself was sleeping with his Mrs. Then later in the night he got out of the van and took an axe to my mate Steve's buttock and it all kicked off again.
In the morning, I was supposed to be DJing and got back to the decks after being involved in all this shabite to find another dude, who I already had problems with, off his face playing my records and leaving them out of their sleeves in the dirt on the floor, ended up in a row with him and telling him to bugger off from the party before he got a beatdown too.
That was a pretty bad night I guess.
In the morning, I was supposed to be DJing and got back to the decks after being involved in all this shabite to find another dude, who I already had problems with, off his face playing my records and leaving them out of their sleeves in the dirt on the floor, ended up in a row with him and telling him to bugger off from the party before he got a beatdown too.
That was a pretty bad night I guess.
Too many magic mushrooms one night in a rock club in town, didn’t end well.
A couple of bad Gary’s another night, led to bowel problems and a strip wash in a bit like the one in train spotting.
Copping off with a girl in Dublin and getting kicked out early morning. Having no idea where I was, with not a bean to my name, on an estate like something out of the Commitments.
Copping off with a girl in Corfu, getting a cab to somewhere in the hills. Getting kicked out early morning, not knowing where I was and having no money.
Trying to walk through the Corfu hills in blistering heat, with a monster hangover, realising I was probably going to die of thirst and having to give a passing taxi driver my watch to get home.
A couple of bad Gary’s another night, led to bowel problems and a strip wash in a bit like the one in train spotting.
Copping off with a girl in Dublin and getting kicked out early morning. Having no idea where I was, with not a bean to my name, on an estate like something out of the Commitments.
Copping off with a girl in Corfu, getting a cab to somewhere in the hills. Getting kicked out early morning, not knowing where I was and having no money.
Trying to walk through the Corfu hills in blistering heat, with a monster hangover, realising I was probably going to die of thirst and having to give a passing taxi driver my watch to get home.
Life lesson - carry a bit of cash.
ForeverBlue92
Player Valuation: £80m
Had a few rough ones over the years probably the funniest was getting chucked out one of the bars in town by the bouncers for pishing in the bog sinks thinking it was a urinal I was that bladdered.
Never even had time to shake the last drops lol
Never even had time to shake the last drops lol
The time honoured question of the youth :
" should I get another bevvy or should I save the last of my money for a cab " lol
Got split up from my mates on my first night out in Liverpool. We were all staying at my mates student flat in city centre which I tried to walk to. However phone was dead and I was off my tits so I ended up walking from Concert Square all the way to near Mossley Hill before sleeping on a bench. It was Sunday night so woke up to loads of people doing the school run. Surprisingly didn't get mugged.
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