RFUS
Anustart
Ah, what a week that was. An Everton win, however unconvincing, City finally dropping points and the RS losing 4-0!!! That delicious game has usurped Bradley Cooper at the top of my wank bank, I can tell you that much. Onto this week then. I suppose our enjoyment will be dependent on what happens in our game. As it's the first game of the weekend, if by some miracle we don't get bummed the rest of the footie will be a welcome treat. If we do get bummed then I suspect it might just be a bit painful, as the RS inevitably climb back above us and Yakubu scores a hat-trick. Anyway...
Saturday
3:00 KO
Arsenal vs Bolton -- Seeing Mikky score for Arsenal was awful. Absolutely awful. Seeing Arsenal concede 4 and lose to Blackburn? Well that was sensational. Of late I've gone from not minding Le Arse, to disliking them, to absolutely hating them. And so it's a shame that their fixture this weekend is a home one to a team in even worse form than themselves. Yes, after a good start, Bolton have lost 4 on the trot! Get Coyle in ffs. I can only see that run of form getting worse for Coyle's men tomorrow, as a wounded Arsenal look to bounce back. 2-1 Arsenal.
Chelsea vs Swansea -- Ah, Swansea. They waited until their fifth game for their first league goal, and typically, they got their second and third too; beating West Brom 3-0. Chelsea had started quite well, but were beaten by the unstoppable United 3-1 in AVB's first home defeat in 47 years or something. The scoreline doesn't tell the whole story though, as they had plenty of opportunities to score themselves. Hahahaha. Swansea will probably take the game to Chelsea, or at least give it a decent go, and a shock of sorts could be on the cards. 1-1 for me.
Liverpool vs Wolves -- I'm going to say it... I enjoyed the sh*te's defeat more than our own win. A spineless performance, 2 men sent off and 4 goals conceded... it's the stuff moist dreams are made of. But Kenny's still the king, of course. Hodgson would have been burnt at the stake for that, but who needs consistency and level-headedness when delusion is so warm and comfy? Wolves started their campaign well but have faltered somewhat in recent weeks. They were put to the sword by QPR in front of their own fans last week. I kind of enjoyed that as I'm not a fan of them, their manager or their rugby tactics, as we know. However I'll be rooting for them his week, and probably applauding said rugby tactics. Come on Karl, break their legs ffs. 1-0 RS.
Newcastle vs Blackburn -- The barcode blerts, led by the real-life version of a Futurama Neutronian, have started the season enviably, and are currently in fourth place. FFS. KFC have been gash so far, but after signing the Yak for 4 pence, they've found themselves a proven goalscorer who can certainly improve their chances of survival. His brace and motm performance last week made me feel queasy, but I really do wish him the best. And on that note, I predict a Blackburn win; 1-2.
West Brom vs Fulham -- I tipped WBA for big things this season, so that explains why they're currently at the bottom of the table. Talisman Chris Brunt has been struggling for fitness, which hasn't helped, but after a tough start they've ballsed up some easier fixtures. I would compliment their strikeforce again, but Odemwingie's no longer in my good books, after his blertish dive mid-week. Maarten Jol ended city's perfect start to the season, singlehandedly pulling his team from 2 goals down to draw 2-2. Well technically Zamora and Duff got them back in it, but they are but mere vessels for Jol's divine will. 0-74 Fulham.
Wigan vs Spurs -- Wigan nearly got away with a point last week against us, but thanks to our Greek Adonis and our Dutch dwarf, they went away with nought. I suspect they'll try the same kind of defend, defend, counter, defend tactics this week. However they're facing a Spurs side who look threatening once again. After bumming the RS all over the shop last week, they'll be looking to climb further up the table after a poor start to the season. Adebayor looks a very canny signing indeed, and I suspect any ex-gooner resentment has now been put firmly to bed. I can't see Wigan getting anything from this, although I wouldn't mind it, as I do like Martinez and I also quite like Spurs not winning. 1-3 Spuds.
5:30 KO
Stoke vs Man United -- United face a tough task if they are to maintain their perfect start to the league season. Stoke are immense at home, and United's inexperienced back line and confidence-deprived keeper will have a tough task coping with Stoke's long ball + tallest striker in the league approach. In addition, Stoke have started the season well, and are currently in fifth place. Deary me. I think this is the game United drop points, if I'm honest, although I may well be wrong. I usually am. 0-0.
Sunday
4:00 KO
QPR vs Aston Villa -- QPR look a different team of late, after two excellent performances in a row. I suppose technically they are a different team, as they signed about 4000 players with Tony Fernandes' (I just love saying that name) billions. Unusually their new signings have settled in immediately, with Barton loving being the centre of attention. It was rumoured he spent the last game informing the opposition about how much he was getting paid a week, so it seems the captain's armband hasn't suddenly turned him into a decent role model. Once a blert, always a blert, I guess. After speaking to a Villa friend of mine it seems that they're not at all happy with McCleish. Despite being undefeated and joint 6th in the league, Big Alex's penchant for drawing and defensive tactics have left the fanbase disgruntled. So with that in mind, I predict a low score draw; 1-1.
Monday
8:00 KO
Norwich vs Sunderland -- Norwich also won their last game (and first of the season) to make it a successful weekend for all the promoted sides. They've been playing some tidy stuff and were unlucky the week before, but with 3 points finally in the bag they might just kick on. Sunderland as well were desperate for points and responded in style, smashing Stoke 4-0. Bendtner put in a very good performance, to give weight to my belief that he's really not a gash player at all. I wish we'd taken him and £4 million for Arteta when offered it. Although I suppose one egotistical EFCNIK is more than enough. Anyway, this one is hard to call, as they'll both be feeling like they can win it. So I'm going to renew my season ticket seat on the fence and say 2-2.
Enjoy your weekend lids. And come on Everton, deeeese are sheee... really good ffs deeeeeeeeeeese.
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,keep it up though,thanks for the PL master nerd part as well mate 
