RFUS
Anustart
Let's be honest... after all that build up and expectation, the opening round of the premier league was a bit crap. Out of the nine games, there were three 0-0 draws and only 16 goals scored. Plenty of players made their debuts, but bar one annoyingly good Argie, most of these debutants did very little. Some even got sent off. On the positive side of things, Liverpool drew 1-1 which considering their summer expenditure and hilariously deluded ambitions, is almost a loss. Seb Larsson you beauty.
On to week number two. Or for us blues, week number one. Don't worry though, I'll leave the Everton stuff to the great furry one. Thankfully this week there's quite a few exciting fixtures to accompany the crushing depression/untameable optimism that will surely arise from our game against QPR.
Saturday
12:00 KO
Sunderland vs Newcastle - Ah, the North East derby. It's quite a big deal over there, I'm told. Last year these sides contested a 1-1 draw and more notably, a 5-1 tonking, in which Newcastle put their opponents to the sword. Before lubing up said sword, putting on a Barry White best of album, and making sweet, sweet love to the Mackems' buns. I'd be surprised to see a similar result this time though, with Sunderland buying even more players and Newcastle selling most of their best players. And whilst I know I should remain somewhat impartial, I've always felt that Newcastle fans are utter bells. And every Sunderland fan I've had the pleasure of conversing with has been quite the opposite. So I'm hoping Sunderland tonk them; 3-0.
12:45 KO
Arsenal vs Liverpool - With Nasri apparently on his way to city, Fabregas long gone and new signing Gervinho serving a three match ban, Arsenal look quite a lot weaker than they have for some time. Which is a massive shame, because they're playing Liverpool. Merseyside's second team on the other hand, have strengthened over the summer and look stronger than they have in quite a while. They have spent big -- too big -- on their new talent, but I suspect a lot of Arsenal fans wouldn't mind if Arsene did the same. Arsenal looked weak mid-week, despite narrowly beating Udinese, and as such I can really only see this going one way. RS 2-1. Although I hope I'm wrong.
3:00 KO
Aston Villa vs Blackburn - The claret and blue N'Zogbia theives opened their campaign with a boring as frak 0-0 draw, away to draw specialists Fulham. N'Zogbia made his debut, and was fairly rubbish. It's probably too early to say he was just a big fish in a small pie yet though. Then again I've left him in my fantasy team, so I would say that. KFC on the other hand lost their opener, after taking the lead initially. They were turned over by Wolves of all teams. Shame on them. Blackburn are one of my favourites to go down this year because their team is largley poo, their owners are dodgy and Steve Kean is a terrible puppet of a manager with an unsettling face. 1-0 Villa.
Swansea vs Wigan - The Welshies were bummed like a flirtatious sheep in Llandudno on monday night. However they gave a good account of themselves. That may sound odd considering they lost 4-0, but their keeper was sensational and they looked assured on the ball. They could well be one of the year's surprise packages. Wigan opened their season against another promoted team in Norwich. They drew 1-1. Victor Moses gave a promising performance to build on his pre-season goal haul, and give the pie eaters some hope that they might yet replace N'Zogbia and better yet, survive the drop. I'd be surprised if they did survive the drop, mind. Anyway, this should be a good game between two evenly-matched, adventurous sides. I'm going for a narrow 3-2 Swansea win.
5:30 KO
Chelsea vs WBA - The title hopefuls opened their campaign with a timid 0-0 draw away to Stoke. Fernando Torres, despite not scoring (obviously), looked very sharp. I'd say it's about time, considering he cost £50 million (or 833
Sunday
1:30 KO
Norwich vs Stoke - In the opening week, Norwich were the only newly promoted team to avoid defeat -- or to be specific, avoid a 4-0 defeat! They looked a resilient, cohesive unit and with their fans behind them, they will fancy themselves to get something from Stoke. Stoke may be a bit leggy after playing a European fixture on thursday night in Switzerland, in which they beat FC Thun (?) 1-0. Stoke are a solid, if incredibly boring, team but are considerably weaker away from home. Last season they only won 3 on the road, losing an incredible 13. Inversely they won 10 of their home fixtures, and lost only 5. Based on the above then, I'd say Norwich have a right to be optimistic, and as such I'm going to go for a 1-0 win in their favour.
2:00 KO
Wolves vs Fulham - Frustratingly for someone who despises Wolves and Mick McCarthy like I do, they got off to a great start, as one of only four teams to actually win their opening fixture. They'll have a much sterner test this time round though, against Fulham. Especially with the legendary Martin Jol at the helm. If Jol had had more time to get to know his team I'd predict a 12-0 win for Fulham, but because he's still settling in Wolves will have a chance. Fulham will be feeling confident after beating some random Ukrainian team 3-0 on thursday, with Clit Dempsey bagging a brace. I think it will be a tight game, but with the superior penetration of Fulham, and the fast, hard attacking manoeuvres they flaunt, they'll come out on top. 1-0 to Jol's Dynasty.
4:00 KO
Bolton vs Man City -City got off to a flyer when one time Everton target, Edin Dzeko, opened the scoring before the scene was set for a Sergio Aguero media fap session. Coming on with 30 minutes to go, the £35-ish million signing scored, got an inventive assist, and then scored again from long range. Why oh why did I take him out of my fantasy team!? Bolton though also won their opening fixture 4-0, with Chris Eagles getting 2 assists. Chris Eagles FFS. I can't see see them doing the same again here, though. City, as painful as it is to say, are a fantastic team with fantastic players. I suspect Aguero might start this one, and the immediate understanding him and David Silva displayed is going to be very hard for Bolton to quell. 2-0 City.
Monday
8:00 KO
Man United vs Tottenham - Another tasty fixture here, as a grating sky sports commentator might say. Spurs, like us, are playing their first league game after the knock-on effect of the New Trabs Looting Riots of 2011. On thursday night however, they did demolish Hearts 5-0 in the Europa goblet of inconvenience. But Hearts aren't Man United now, are they? With Ashley Young giving an impressive performance in United's opener, and Rooney opening his account straight away, the champions got off to a good start and will look to build on that here. At home last season they had a truly ridiculous record; winning 18 and drawing just 1. Spurs will have to play very well indeed to get something out of this. But Redknapp, despite looking like a rejected waxwork of Sloth from the Goonies, does know how to make a team play good football. The turkey-necked beaut. I'm going for an evenly contested 2-2 draw.
Enjoy the footie lids, and come on Ebepton ffs, deeeese are shiiiite deeeeese.
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