The most bonkers Ebay auctions

dholliday · November 19, 2013

I'm a bit addicted to Ebay, and sometimes stumble across the most bonkers, madder-than-syd-barrett auctions. They get extra crazy points if they're actually genuine, as in this one:

It is important that buyers study the whole of the text before they ask questions.

What follows is no less than 16,600 words of the most glorious stream-of-consciousness, which reads like unpunctuated czech put into Google Translate into German, then again into English. Here a choice cut:

Here presented for Sellers this gorgeious rosewood grand piano have seen to our untrained ear that all the notes play anyone wishing to view the item will be made most welcome buyer takes all responsibility to item listing in description and photograph any or all viewing required to satisfy themselves their wish to purchase on eBay before bidding as the bid is to buy not come and look when reassembly/redismantling completion by sellers not wanting to let it go without any picure though will possibly agree to sell the item at any stage viewer requests we understand on eBay we think as Buy It Now on eBay if as it seems we cannot fathom who will bid in terms of error or starting price - all interest and suggestion welcome re viewing make up your own mind we won;t comment on questions recieved on it and here's what they have to say about it:!

Genuine as it seems the seller really does sell old pianos, tho' for a few hundred quid, nothing like this price.

I'm the only bidder so far, with £1.50 offered. He didn't accept. Shame. I always wanted a schizophrenic piano.

Yous got any candidates for most bonkers Ebay auctions?

Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian · November 19, 2013

Well if any of those bags are advertised on their then their listings must be a little weird.

Are there any bizarre items ? been some corkers in the past.