The Law Is An Ass

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

First Up:

Parental Responsibility.

As myself & herself are not married then I have absolutely no rights of Parental Responsibility over 2 of my kids, I am named on their Birth Certificates and they have spent their whole lives living in the same house as me.

Some examples of where this 'comes into play' are :

I'm not allowed to be the signatory on any consent forms even in a situation that is a medical emergency.
If something should happen my Mrs then I would need to adopt my own kids.

Some examples or where the Govt. deem that I can somehow be 'held responsible' despite being told I have no Parental Responsibility are :

If we had got fined for taking them on holiday in term time last year then EACH parent gets fined for failing to send them to school.
If we split up then Govt would take maint. payments from my wage through CSA or whatever agency is currently making a profit from such situations.




For my youngest though I do have PR as he was born after a particular date in 2003, Getting Married isn't the solution to this problem btw as it's more to do with our status when they were born, I can GET PR apparently if I go through the courts but tbh a load of expense due to an ass of a law.

 

[EFCNIK]

Look mate, if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it.

 

[steken1]

Probably best to just put them up for adoption and start from scratch!

 

[tsubaki]

RBOG you can apply for parental responsibility for the kids you dont automatically have it for. Apologies if you knew this already.

 

[Tree13]

First Up:

Parental Responsibility.

As myself & herself are not married then I have absolutely no rights of Parental Responsibility over 2 of my kids, I am named on their Birth Certificates and they have spent their whole lives living in the same house as me.

Some examples of where this 'comes into play' are :

I'm not allowed to be the signatory on any consent forms even in a situation that is a medical emergency.
If something should happen my Mrs then I would need to adopt my own kids.

Some examples or where the Govt. deem that I can somehow be 'held responsible' despite being told I have no Parental Responsibility are :

If we had got fined for taking them on holiday in term time last year then EACH parent gets fined for failing to send them to school.
If we split up then Govt would take maint. payments from my wage through CSA or whatever agency is currently making a profit from such situations.




For my youngest though I do have PR as he was born after a particular date in 2003, Getting Married isn't the solution to this problem btw as it's more to do with our status when they were born, I can GET PR apparently if I go through the courts but tbh a load of expense due to an ass of a law.

Reidy, would you be ok explaining why you aren't married to the mother of your kids? Fair play if you don't want to, obviously.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Reidy, would you be ok explaining why you aren't married to the mother of your kids? Fair play if you don't want to, obviously.

neither of us ever wanted to get married, together that long that it didn't seem important and when we emigrated to NZ it made no difference as legally we had the same status, the Parental Responsibility thing may well not apply over there where our daughter was born ?
Also both of us see marriage as something that is 'in the eyes of the church' so as we are both nea what the religious men think then it's never been a priority.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Also btw, Gay couples now have more rights than we do.

The 'defacto' and then later the 'civil partnership' thing was because gay couples couldn't get married, but now they can so all the previous legislation for unmarried couples actually gives them more rights than we have.

NOT AN ANTI GAY MARRIAGE THING THAT BTW. each to their own like but it was all about equality wasn't it.

 

[HSD]

What, so you HAVE to be married to get PR?

I never really want to get married, but if that's the case, well that's bloody annoying/unfair..

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

What, so you HAVE to be married to get PR?

I never really want to get married, but if that's the case, well that's bloody annoying/unfair..

Except you wont be the Father H, which again brings into question Equality really doesn't it ?

The law as it is here doesn't apply in NZ btw, i just looked it up, referred to as Guardianship there and the only thing that comes into play is regarding you being together (living or in a relationship) when the child is conceived, they also say it's something that's almost impossible to prove as not being the case.

I know I can get PR, but my point in case is that I shouldn't have to, I took my daughter to the Dr last week and she sent us to the hospital for a blood test and x-ray, when I asked if any consent forms needed to be signed she said she was both baffled and horrified by the fact that I'm not allowed to sign such things. When my son was born and rushed to Alder Hey for an emergency operation we arrived there and I couldn't sign the consent form, they then had to get my Mrs who was still under anaesthetic and paralysed to try to sign the consent form.
School rang for something and I was told that they couldn't discuss it with ME.

I therefore Decree that the Law is Indeed An ASS.

 

[roydo]

Cant you adopt them?

And not being married if something awful happened can be a right pain, believe me.

Me and Mrs R are in the same boat btw, but my lads are grown up, sort of, but we plan on getting a simple registry office one this year, just in case.

 

[Toffeelover]

I understand the anguish but the other side of the coin in a relationship like this is that tyhe father could just do a bunk which has happened many times. Hence the way legislation is set out for situations such as these.

Why not get a ring and get married?

 

[chrissyjack]

Does this only apply to parents ? I signed a consent form allowing my grandson to go on a school trip tomorrow . That might be down to me being one of the people on the list allowed to collect him from school, though

 

[Groucho]

I knew this. We're married so I'm not affected, but someone I worked with years ago had this exact situation.

It's daft.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I understand the anguish but the other side of the coin in a relationship like this is that tyhe father could just do a bunk which has happened many times. Hence the way legislation is set out for situations such as these.

Why not get a ring and get married?

that's just the point though, if I moved out be it my decision, hers or both then whoever it is these days would take maint payments from my wage, therefore deeming me to have parental responsibilities, but I don't have any as we are.

we don't wish to be married and that should be our choice without our rights being compromised, at the end of the day it's a religious approval, yes also a civil thing but only due to religious beliefs of people who have been in power, Blair and Cameron have both sought to put more emphasis on marriage due to their religious beliefs.
Again, I can get the PR by going through the courts but I shouldn't have to, consider the fact that my daughter was born in a place where I had full rights which I then lost when we came back here.
Out of all our friends from way back btw there's only 1 couple that are still married(approx 20%), whereas those that didn't marry around 90% are still together, and of those that got divorced they've all lasted longer with new partners than their ex's that they married.

 

[tsubaki]

that's just the point though, if I moved out be it my decision, hers or both then whoever it is these days would take maint payments from my wage, therefore deeming me to have parental responsibilities, but I don't have any as we are.

we don't wish to be married and that should be our choice without our rights being compromised, at the end of the day it's a religious approval, yes also a civil thing but only due to religious beliefs of people who have been in power, Blair and Cameron have both sought to put more emphasis on marriage due to their religious beliefs.
Again, I can get the PR by going through the courts but I shouldn't have to, consider the fact that my daughter was born in a place where I had full rights which I then lost when we came back here.
Out of all our friends from way back btw there's only 1 couple that are still married(approx 20%), whereas those that didn't marry around 90% are still together, and of those that got divorced they've all lasted longer with new partners than their ex's that they married.

TBF its not "going through the courts", unless your other half objects to you having parental rights - all you have to do is fill in a form with your other half, get it signed at a court by the clerk, and then send it off.