The A&E Thread

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Duncan Disordely

Duncan Disordely

Player Valuation: £35m
Just on my way to A&E after going arse over tit over my mountain bike handlebars, somersaulting and landing on my shoulder and elbow...


What stupid things has put GOT in hospital??
 

My broken wrist was quite an epic affair.

So, went to play football for my old team in Winchester, but the other team didn't turn up and we have a game between ourselves. I go in nets and this lad smashes a vicious volley at me that I get all wrong anf my wrist basically snaps.
I don't think anything of it, but sit out for a minute or two, then go back on up front, cross comes in, I think eff it, scissors kick off the post, land on my arm. Hurts quite a bit now.
To the pub afterwards, wrist is swelling quite badly, mates put ice cubes down my sweat band BECASUE THAT WILL HELP! Get pissed. Doesn't hurt anymore.
Get home, and my housemates boyf is there. He was an army medic, sees my arm and says i've got to go to A&E. I'm like 'why!?'.

Get to A&E, have to wait about 5 hours, and eventually get my xray and the nurse lady says i've broken my wrist, i'm like 'have I?!' - the xray looks awesome, looks like a Harry Potter scar in my arm. Boss. She wouldn't let me keep it though.

And that was my broken wrist.
 
I went down a hill with my sister on the handlebars of my Knight Rider bike (which had no seat) when I was about 11, she flew off in one direction and I cracked my head off a bollard, which proved to be an effective brake. Lots of blood but stitches did the job.
 

My appendix went boom near Christmas.

A huge sheet of corrugated plastic slid down a really steep hill and was stopped by the back of my head, leaving me with a nice, big scar.

There's not really anything else exciting!
 
I really should go to A&E now ....but have been putting off since Monday morning due to the fact I can't think up a viable story of how I hurt myself without looking like an absolute tool...... So ibuprofen and grin and bare it.
 
Climbed a wall chasing my Footy.

Fell off said Wall, smashed my arm off a plastic chair and broke it.

In Hospital for about 3 days, Still have the scar.

Brilliant stuff now. Painful as **** at the time.
 

Heads and volleys. Hit an absolute screamer and my groin just went "nah".

Fell off the monkey bars and broke my wrist. Dad was still telling me to stop whining and that it's nothing 2 hours later.

Got hit by a car (my fault).

Landed with all my body weight on a straight arm which was facing the wrong way when diving to save a shot. Fractured elbow.

Broken 6 toes.

Broken 5 fingers.




Jesus I've got a body like Ross Barkley's knees.


EDIT: Oh yeah, I've dislocated my shoulder as well.
 
My sister takes the cake though.

In hospital for weeks when she was younger because she got mud in her eye.
 

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