Tell me a joke .....

[Shinners17]

I went out and brought Fifa the other day - its great to be President of Qatar...

A woman walks into a bar and orders a double entendre, the barman gives her one...

Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that, even though he's happy in Manchester, he does Miss Wales occasionally.

 

[mrs the esk]

What is the difference between @chicoazul and the Scotland football team?

None, you never see them during a World Cup!

 

[COYB]

wounded like

 

[Groucho]

Did you hear the one about the massive hole in the ground?

Well.......

 

[chrissyjack]

I have holes in my trouser pockets. So no change there , then

 

[deipnosophist]

Wife want to spice up the marital love life so she buys some crotchless knickers. Husband is sat watching footie on the telly and having a beer as she sashays into the room wearing just the panties. Puts her leg up on the arm of hubbies chair and says :"mmm, would you like a bit of this?" Hubby takes one look, splutters on his beer and replies "hell no!!... look what it's done to your knickers"!!

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

What's Dracula's favourite type of soup?

Scream of tomato

 

[Groucho]

Woman goes to her doctor, says,

"I've taken some steroids at the gym over the past year, and last week I've grown loads of dark manly hair all over my body."

"I see" said the doctor, "anabolic?"

"No" the woman said, "just the hair"......

 

[Charlie Bigtime]

Some woman was dancing on the table in the grafton, I said "nice legs", she said "really, do you think so" I said "yeah, a table normally buckles under that pressure you fat mess".

 

[Prevenger17]

A guy walks into the newsagent and says to the girl "Give me a KitKat chunky" so she hands him one. He looks at it for a second and says "I asked for a normal one you fat bitch."

 

[Kurt.]

I have holes in my trouser pockets. So no change there , then

I bet you feel cocky all day ...