Strange or funny things which happened in work

[Billy Dean]

Worked at a company where there was almost a tradition for dirty protests to take place in the men's lavatory once someone had let go. One fella smeared faeces around every wash basin. Another wrote a rather long rant on the wall in poo. Can only think there was a look out.

Lad got fired from this place I used to work in back in the day. The day after he got fired we were out the back on our morning ciggy break. There was a massive turd right by the door. We were all joking that he probably did it and found out a few weeks later that he actually did. He went down the pub and had a few bevvies then came back at night and shat on the back doorstep lol

 

[Aberblue]

Bump.

 

[Nobby Nobbs]

....very expensive IT Consultant hired to work on the Project I was managing mistakingly sent me a text meant for his girlfriend. It went into very explicit detail about what he was going to do with her when he got home that weekend. He was mortified when I responded with ‘I don’t think this is for me’.

Always squirming when we spoke after that. Needless to say, I didn’t immediately delete that message but I did show it to a number of colleagues on the team.

Very similar thing happened to a friend of mine, he was separated from his wife and was having a fling with a girl from Birmingham, sent her an absolutely filthy txt about what he's going to do to her.......................... and sent it to his farther-in-law, OUCH.

 

[COYBL25]

Lad got fired from this place I used to work in back in the day. The day after he got fired we were out the back on our morning ciggy break. There was a massive turd right by the door. We were all joking that he probably did it and found out a few weeks later that he actually did. He went down the pub and had a few bevvies then came back at night and shat on the back doorstep lol

We had a boss for a short time who was hopelessly out of his depth.

He was a desk jockey and wholly unsuited to operational work.

He loved paperwork and particularly loved maps of complicated specifications and plans.

He spent weeks and weeks on one such plan, to do with the spec and layout of of the safety systems within a tower block. It was a work of art and a draughtsman would’ve been proud of it.

The thing is, that it wasn’t his job to do it, he’d taken it upon himself to do it, to avoid doing his real job.

This meant other people had to take on his responsibilities, which meant more work for them.

There was one lad, who proper hated him and somehow he managed to get the keys to this fellas filing cabinet copy them and whilst he was off one day, shredded his beloved plan of the tower block,

Not only did he shred it, but he put the shredded bits into a cardboard box, made like a birds nest out of the bits and then right in the middle, he curled one down.

He then put the cardboard box and contents back into his filing cabinet and locked it.

I wasn’t there when the fella opened his filing cabinet, bit apparently you could hear his screams across the other side of the building and he had to be pulled off the other fella in the office. ( who never admitted it )

Shortly after, the boss went sick and was eventually moved to another dept.

 

[Eggs]

Very similar thing happened to a friend of mine, he was separated from his wife and was having a fling with a girl from Birmingham, sent her an absolutely filthy txt about what he's going to do to her.......................... and sent it to his farther-in-law, OUCH.

...so easily done. A few times I’ve sent a work e-Mail and cc entirely the wrong person. Aggggh.

 

[BNJ1878]

Not sure it fits as it is more of a revenge story on a former boss.

When I was in the RAF I decided to leave earlier than the 12 years I had signed up for. (Actually I signed up for 9, but extended around year 7 to do a 12 year term as It gave me a 'bonus' 28 days leave)

Anyway, after about 9 years I was fed up, fewer decent posting opportunities and I was ready to move on. My warrant Officer was a proper career man and I basically went from one of his favs to a piece of dog dirt in minutes. Any 'volunteers' needed? Jones can do it.

When I was in my final month, I was given 2 weeks Guard duty that usually rolled around every year, but this was a special treat for me wanting out.

Night shift was 2 hours on then 2 off for 12 hours, you'd either be on a gate somewhere or on either a foot or vehicle patrol. Anyway, this tit lived on base in the mess, and he had this Rover that he absolutely loved. The plan was hatched.

The next day I went into halfords and bought a set of locking wheelnuts. That night 1 went on each wheel of his Rover and the special key went into the lake just off base.

I never did hear how long after he discovered them. A part of me hopes it was a puncture one friday evening in the middle of nowhere, pissing rain whilst driving off to see his family who were elsewhere in the UK.

 

[COYBL25]

Not sure it fits as it is more of a revenge story on a former boss.

When I was in the RAF I decided to leave earlier than the 12 years I had signed up for. (Actually I signed up for 9, but extended around year 7 to do a 12 year term as It gave me a 'bonus' 28 days leave)

Anyway, after about 9 years I was fed up, fewer decent posting opportunities and I was ready to move on. My warrant Officer was a proper career man and I basically went from one of his favs to a piece of dog dirt in minutes. Any 'volunteers' needed? Jones can do it.

When I was in my final month, I was given 2 weeks Guard duty that usually rolled around every year, but this was a special treat for me wanting out.

Night shift was 2 hours on then 2 off for 12 hours, you'd either be on a gate somewhere or on either a foot or vehicle patrol. Anyway, this tit lived on base in the mess, and he had this Rover that he absolutely loved. The plan was hatched.

The next day I went into halfords and bought a set of locking wheelnuts. That night 1 went on each wheel of his Rover and the special key went into the lake just off base.

I never did hear how long after he discovered them. A part of me hopes it was a puncture one friday evening in the middle of nowhere, pissing rain whilst driving off to see his family who were elsewhere in the UK.

That’s tremendous and one I’ll save up for future use one day.

 

[The binman chronicles]

Not long after I started working for an IT company there were 5 of us rattling around in this fairly large building and we were all under 25, so the pranks were common place. So was office football/cricket and even one time golf - but the latter did not last for long when a window was smashed out by a fairly brutal drive that could have gone anywhere. I'd imagine when the building was sold the people wondered why there was dimpled ball imprints in all the walls...

Anyhow one day someone's tatty neoprene covered wrist rest support finally split or was torn open leaving just the gel on show, after noticing this was quite stretchy we decided to see how stretchy. So two of my coworkers grabbed the ends and started walking away from the other, this got 10-15-20 feet in length and was still going but you could now see it was pretty taught and hard to grip onto. They may have made another 5 feet whilst saying whatever you do don't let go when co-worker B decided it was a him or me situation and let it go. It pinged back to co-worker A in a fraction of a second, you then just hear this SLAP and then a high pitch yelp like you've just accidentally stepped on a dogs tail.

He was on the floor moments later in total pain. The bruise on his tummy was the size of a watermelon and almost all the darkest shades possible. Very funny watching it unfold knowing it was always going to end badly.

 

[Methuselah]

Back in the 1960's I worked for a Caterpillar Tractor Dealer in Leeds. Caterpillar had just brought out their new and enormous Dump Truck. When the first one was delivered it came in two separate pieces. The 'chassis cab' and the bowl. The bowl was delivered on a low loader and had to be lifted off. The first delivery of this new model was a big event and most of the office staff had congregated in the workshop to watch proceedings. There was one problem. The weight of the bowl was greater than the capacity of the workshop overhead crane. The workshop manager decided that he would use the combination of the overhead crane and a lift-truck. It was going OK until the bowl started to swing. The lift truck driver jumped off the lift truck just before it turned over. All the weight of the bowl was now on the overhead crane which couldn't control the swing and the bowl took out most of the rear wall of the workshop. Fortunately, there were no casualties.
No health and safety in those days, no protective gear, let alone allowing people to watch a hazardous operation!

 

[Piijt]

A few years ago I was working in the oilfield on a desert site, living in a trailer. At the other end of the trailer lived a Scottish bloke who for various reasons I utterly despised. Now if I’d hit him, I’d have been on the next plane home so I decided to make his life a misery instead.

It started with supergluing his door lock, took him hours to get in, did that every day for a week, had a few days off then started again. Got bored with that, climbed up on the roof and knocked on his door, did that nightly to the point where he sat at the window for hours waiting to catch whoever it was.
Got bored with that so decided to play with his hot water tank. Every night I’d turn off his hot water. He had cold showers for months. It got to the point where he covered the tap in his own [Poor language removed], I got gloves, he didn’t and had to turn it on himself. He unscrewed the tap, I carried a replacement. I did this for about 6 months.
He finally cracked and was seen in tears when I started the same with his electric supply. Prick.