Jamo Martinez
Player Valuation: £70m
What do you know? Ross Barkley's actually coming to visit me in Alicante. I might have made that bit up. He is in my manor though for the first of a series of friendlies England have lined up against 'top class' oppositon.
That last bit isn't made up at all. The current double European Champions followed by a nicely developing French team on Tuesday at Wembley. World Champions and old enemies Jermanee await next February. Last, and definitely least, we play Blackpool. Or someone in orange anyway. Pretty damned impressive.
A veritable group of death if it were in a tournament. However as they're only friendlies we'll just call it the group of 'getting beaten up by a gang of bullies and having to spend a night in hospital'.
OK. So Spain are not the force they were but they should cause us a few more problems than San Marino.
David 'I'm such a scruff I could actually be a manc' De Gea will probably be in goal. Great keeper. One of those goalies that make you shout 'BASTID' during the match. Actually our goalie has the same effect on me, but you know what I mean.
Ramos is out which means slightly less chance of Barkley getting injured. Some other snide will partner Pique in the centre of defence. Possibly Barcelona team mate Bartra. Juan Fran's also injured so the impressive Bellerin should get a run out with Jordi Alba making up the back four.
Take your pick from any of about a dozen midfielders for the 5 places available. Whoever plays you know they'll win the possession. I'd imagine Paco Alcacer will be up front.
But what about England? I (don't) hear you all ask. Surely Hart in goal. Should be Smalling and Stones in the centre but who knows with Woy. And I'd imagine Liverpool star Clyne at RB. Big injury problems at LB mean Mick Mills has been drafted in to the squad. His experience will be important with so many youngsters.
The most interesting news from an Everton point of view (OK the only interesting news from an Everton point of view) is that Ross Barkley looks set to start in the number 10 role behind Kone or possibly Kane. Delle Ali could play at some point. Rooney will probably sit this one out or come on as a second half sub.
Vardy, our most in form striker, is out injured as are Liverpool stars Milner and, to the relief of anyone who likes football, Henderson.
I really can't keep up with the injuries especially Arsenal's. I'm pretty sure Oxlade Chamberlain and Welbeck are out. Wilshere defo. Walcott? Ray Parlour? And what about Liverpool star Daniel Sturridge?
David Batty's been drafted in to the squad. His experience will, oh whatever.
I can actually see us doing an Everton v Southampton and snotting these on the counter.
You may say I'm a dreamer. And you'd be right.
As I said earlier, these matches are pretty good preparation for the Euros. It's a safe bet that Spain France and Germany will be amongst the teams to beat next summer. Or an even safer bet from England's point of view, amongst the teams to get beaten by in the quarter finals.
Hums theme from 'The Great Escape'.
That last bit isn't made up at all. The current double European Champions followed by a nicely developing French team on Tuesday at Wembley. World Champions and old enemies Jermanee await next February. Last, and definitely least, we play Blackpool. Or someone in orange anyway. Pretty damned impressive.
A veritable group of death if it were in a tournament. However as they're only friendlies we'll just call it the group of 'getting beaten up by a gang of bullies and having to spend a night in hospital'.
OK. So Spain are not the force they were but they should cause us a few more problems than San Marino.
David 'I'm such a scruff I could actually be a manc' De Gea will probably be in goal. Great keeper. One of those goalies that make you shout 'BASTID' during the match. Actually our goalie has the same effect on me, but you know what I mean.
Ramos is out which means slightly less chance of Barkley getting injured. Some other snide will partner Pique in the centre of defence. Possibly Barcelona team mate Bartra. Juan Fran's also injured so the impressive Bellerin should get a run out with Jordi Alba making up the back four.
Take your pick from any of about a dozen midfielders for the 5 places available. Whoever plays you know they'll win the possession. I'd imagine Paco Alcacer will be up front.
But what about England? I (don't) hear you all ask. Surely Hart in goal. Should be Smalling and Stones in the centre but who knows with Woy. And I'd imagine Liverpool star Clyne at RB. Big injury problems at LB mean Mick Mills has been drafted in to the squad. His experience will be important with so many youngsters.
The most interesting news from an Everton point of view (OK the only interesting news from an Everton point of view) is that Ross Barkley looks set to start in the number 10 role behind Kone or possibly Kane. Delle Ali could play at some point. Rooney will probably sit this one out or come on as a second half sub.
Vardy, our most in form striker, is out injured as are Liverpool stars Milner and, to the relief of anyone who likes football, Henderson.
I really can't keep up with the injuries especially Arsenal's. I'm pretty sure Oxlade Chamberlain and Welbeck are out. Wilshere defo. Walcott? Ray Parlour? And what about Liverpool star Daniel Sturridge?
David Batty's been drafted in to the squad. His experience will, oh whatever.
I can actually see us doing an Everton v Southampton and snotting these on the counter.
You may say I'm a dreamer. And you'd be right.
As I said earlier, these matches are pretty good preparation for the Euros. It's a safe bet that Spain France and Germany will be amongst the teams to beat next summer. Or an even safer bet from England's point of view, amongst the teams to get beaten by in the quarter finals.
Hums theme from 'The Great Escape'.
