Sleeping problems - help needed!

[the_professor]

Not sure if anyone else suffers from this but I have been having real trouble sleeping over the past few months (around two to three hours per night). I have tried all the standard methods of helping me sleep (sleeping pills, warm baths, pennyfeathers, hot drinks, etc, etc) but none have worked, so as a result I have done some research into natural remedies.

Have any of you tried any of these, and if so did they work? Some of them sound a bit unlikely to me, but to be honest this problem has got so bad, I’m willing to try anything.

1) Place a dozen feathers under my pillow
2) Put a bowl of sugar at the foot of the bed with a bowl of salt at the other end
3) Lay three metres of aluminium foil under my bed
4) Get a cat to breathe over me for half an hour
5) Repeat the phrase 'Mim Mim Bim Bim Bim Mim' a hundred times to myself before getting undressed for bed

Anybody tried any of these?

Thanks

 

[Foot Long Hot Dog]

I find that the traditional British method of getting absolutely **** faced works every time

 

[ijjysmith]

Have you tried sleeping on saw dust?

 

[Eric Djemba-Djemba]

If I've learnt one thing from this forum it is that nothing cannot be fixed with saw dust

 

[Moomin]

It sounds ridiculous but the tin foil works a treat.

You also need to smother yourself in butter, stick a load of garlic up your arse and in your armpits. Stab bits of rosemary into you. Then slow roast yourself for a good 4 hours.

 

[ArtetaMagic]

Have you tried pulling one off? Work for me

but when it doesnt I do get the cat to breathe on me for a half hr or so

 

[Kurt.]

Go and lie on your washing line.... You'll soon drop off mate.

 

[roydo]

1.......

 

[Moomin]

Have you tried pulling one off? Work for me

but when it doesnt I do get the cat to breathe on me for a half hr or so

I'm phoning the RSPCA on you, dirty get.

 

[edge]

cling film wraped around your head a few times, should do the trick with a bottle night nurse sucked through a straw slowly, while listening to pete price on the radio. works im told.

 

[the_professor]

Ok, so seriously has anyone really tried any of the natural remedies I mentioned?

 

[Bungle]

Forgive me if I'm not entirely convinced that you have a genuine issue after being shown up as a fraudster previously http://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/60562-Blind-French-goalkeeper-from-the-1950-s

Obviously if you genuinely have a problem then I can suggest

They'll cure your sleeping problem but they'll leave you with a terribly sore arse, just one of the side effects, honest...

 

[edge]

Ok, so seriously has anyone really tried any of the natural remedies I mentioned?

no mate cant say i have, report back if any work, Magnesium and calcium, wild lettuce and hops are all natural ways to help to sleep.

 

[Degs62]

Not sure if anyone else suffers from this but I have been having real trouble sleeping over the past few months (around two to three hours per night). I have tried all the standard methods of helping me sleep (sleeping pills, warm baths, pennyfeathers, hot drinks, etc, etc) but none have worked, so as a result I have done some research into natural remedies.

Have any of you tried any of these, and if so did they work? Some of them sound a bit unlikely to me, but to be honest this problem has got so bad, I’m willing to try anything.

1) Place a dozen feathers under my pillow
2) Put a bowl of sugar at the foot of the bed with a bowl of salt at the other end
3) Lay three metres of aluminium foil under my bed
4) Get a cat to breathe over me for half an hour
5) Repeat the phrase 'Mim Mim Bim Bim Bim Mim' a hundred times to myself before getting undressed for bed

Anybody tried any of these?

Thanks

HAHAHAHA FU FU FFS, what a crap user name.

Have you tried posting this on Men's Health?

 

[Moomin]

I've heard being the target in a game of Bukkake can help, and it helps with the bags under the eyes as well.