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This is a cracking read found this morning
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Latest news from Toffeeworld - from our Special Correspondent
MERSEYSIDE FOOTBALL UPDATE
EVERTON:
A goalless draw with bogey side Spurs cemented Everton's 4th place in the PL. Everton enjoyed the lion's share of the game and with a bit more luck and composure in front of goal would have secured all 3 points. Elsewhere Man City drew 1-1 at lowly Derby and Portsmouth were beaten 2-0 at Man Utd. Erstwhile rivals Liverpool are slipping out of the European places - it's now 10 points from a possible 27 - in 7th place - just ahead of Blackburn, Portsmouth and the advancing West Ham.
Transfer News:
Old Man Stubbsy moves on to Derby County. Also surplus to requirements - Bjarni moves to Holland and Da Silva to Barnsley (at least he can direct the driver to their FA Cup game at Analfield). Anthony Gardner comes in as spares at the back, on loan until the end of the season!
Elsewhere on Merseyside:
Tranmere beat Gillingham 2-0 (Tuesday) and re-signed Ian Moore (the manager's son!)
[Poor language removed] FC
Still cleaning up the mess around the ventilator shaft after Los Excrementos Rojas los again, this time to El Hammeros dos Londres via a late, late, late ("it's totally unfair") penalty which the Noble Hammer eplaced epast El Pepe. Earlier, at the weekend SFC managed to squeak past Hampshire pub side Havant, just avoiding going in at half-time losing!! Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Dos Radios Merseysidos Call-In was extra funny with multos multos Ventilators from Dorset, Oslo and Cantril Farm calling in to complain about Beneatus "rubbish", Dirk Cute "rubbish", Hicksy and Gilloteen "extracting the urine from all the fans" (which they badly need to throw at visitors from down the East Lancs Road).
Meanwhile Beneathus couldn't raise the funds to sign Javier Missedyouranus on a permanent deal - no one else wanted to go there either!! Stevie-Me spat his dummy out (again), Jan Arne Riise missed another golden opportunity (and promptly lost his paypacket), Jamie Carragher didn't fool another premiership referee, Peter Crouch is still out of the starting XI with bumsplints. Hicks and Gillette are in negotiations with Fortress Funding. The stadium move requires further Council approval - delaying the start for another 9 months and increasing costs by a further £20M as the price of steel goes through the roof.
In other news The Newly formed Consortium of Frustrated Fans (aka COFFERS) are hoping to garner 100,000 lunatics with £5,000 (yes folks that's more than the attendees at Analfield (season-ticket holders and sundry regulars)) expected to somehow find 10 years worth of season-ticket money to own 0.001% of the club and that's assuming the Yanks would sell it!
Other News
Capital of Culture Chief Executive resigns and walks away with £230,000 pay off - just enough to pay the RS debt off for 2 and a bit days!
All in all it's been a interesting week.
Your Special Correspondent
_________________
#
Latest news from Toffeeworld - from our Special Correspondent
MERSEYSIDE FOOTBALL UPDATE
EVERTON:
A goalless draw with bogey side Spurs cemented Everton's 4th place in the PL. Everton enjoyed the lion's share of the game and with a bit more luck and composure in front of goal would have secured all 3 points. Elsewhere Man City drew 1-1 at lowly Derby and Portsmouth were beaten 2-0 at Man Utd. Erstwhile rivals Liverpool are slipping out of the European places - it's now 10 points from a possible 27 - in 7th place - just ahead of Blackburn, Portsmouth and the advancing West Ham.
Transfer News:
Old Man Stubbsy moves on to Derby County. Also surplus to requirements - Bjarni moves to Holland and Da Silva to Barnsley (at least he can direct the driver to their FA Cup game at Analfield). Anthony Gardner comes in as spares at the back, on loan until the end of the season!
Elsewhere on Merseyside:
Tranmere beat Gillingham 2-0 (Tuesday) and re-signed Ian Moore (the manager's son!)
[Poor language removed] FC
Still cleaning up the mess around the ventilator shaft after Los Excrementos Rojas los again, this time to El Hammeros dos Londres via a late, late, late ("it's totally unfair") penalty which the Noble Hammer eplaced epast El Pepe. Earlier, at the weekend SFC managed to squeak past Hampshire pub side Havant, just avoiding going in at half-time losing!! Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Dos Radios Merseysidos Call-In was extra funny with multos multos Ventilators from Dorset, Oslo and Cantril Farm calling in to complain about Beneatus "rubbish", Dirk Cute "rubbish", Hicksy and Gilloteen "extracting the urine from all the fans" (which they badly need to throw at visitors from down the East Lancs Road).
Meanwhile Beneathus couldn't raise the funds to sign Javier Missedyouranus on a permanent deal - no one else wanted to go there either!! Stevie-Me spat his dummy out (again), Jan Arne Riise missed another golden opportunity (and promptly lost his paypacket), Jamie Carragher didn't fool another premiership referee, Peter Crouch is still out of the starting XI with bumsplints. Hicks and Gillette are in negotiations with Fortress Funding. The stadium move requires further Council approval - delaying the start for another 9 months and increasing costs by a further £20M as the price of steel goes through the roof.
In other news The Newly formed Consortium of Frustrated Fans (aka COFFERS) are hoping to garner 100,000 lunatics with £5,000 (yes folks that's more than the attendees at Analfield (season-ticket holders and sundry regulars)) expected to somehow find 10 years worth of season-ticket money to own 0.001% of the club and that's assuming the Yanks would sell it!
Other News
Capital of Culture Chief Executive resigns and walks away with £230,000 pay off - just enough to pay the RS debt off for 2 and a bit days!
All in all it's been a interesting week.
Your Special Correspondent
_________________
