News came out today from Goodison Park, the home of Everton F.C. that the owner of the football club had informed his backroom staff as well as some first team players that they would have to ‘sell their organs’ to ‘raise funds’ for improvements to the shoe-lace squad.
In a statement from Bill Kenwright (Owner of Everton F.C) that was released today, he announced that during contract negotiations with certain players and backroom staff that they agreed to release the use of bodily organs in the case of a lack of funds for squad improvements.
This isn’t the first time however that Everton F.C. has had to take drastic measures to raise funds for new signings at the troubled club. In 2007 footballing enigma Andy van der Meyde was sold to PukkaPies for meat as the club struggled to keep up with its competitors. Although with the money raised from the sale of van der Meyde’s flesh was spent on bringing in Yakubu from Middlesbrough for a then record of £11.25m, Everton still struggled to keep up with an ever growing business and resorted to selling its tea-lady to pornographic giants Play Boy in 2009.
Although the news has angered some human rights activists, Everton manager David Moyes has come out and applauded Bill Kenwright’s recent money making schemes. In an interview with us today David Moyes stated that “Aye, it’s finally great to get some money in to spend on improving the squad.” He also told us the story on how he managed to raise the cash to buy Everton rookie Aspostolos Vellios. “Well I had to look behind the sofa at first, I managed to find a few quid behind the cushion, I also worked in SPAR for a few months scraping and scraping to sign the lad.”
In a statement from Bill Kenwright (Owner of Everton F.C) that was released today, he announced that during contract negotiations with certain players and backroom staff that they agreed to release the use of bodily organs in the case of a lack of funds for squad improvements.
This isn’t the first time however that Everton F.C. has had to take drastic measures to raise funds for new signings at the troubled club. In 2007 footballing enigma Andy van der Meyde was sold to PukkaPies for meat as the club struggled to keep up with its competitors. Although with the money raised from the sale of van der Meyde’s flesh was spent on bringing in Yakubu from Middlesbrough for a then record of £11.25m, Everton still struggled to keep up with an ever growing business and resorted to selling its tea-lady to pornographic giants Play Boy in 2009.
Although the news has angered some human rights activists, Everton manager David Moyes has come out and applauded Bill Kenwright’s recent money making schemes. In an interview with us today David Moyes stated that “Aye, it’s finally great to get some money in to spend on improving the squad.” He also told us the story on how he managed to raise the cash to buy Everton rookie Aspostolos Vellios. “Well I had to look behind the sofa at first, I managed to find a few quid behind the cushion, I also worked in SPAR for a few months scraping and scraping to sign the lad.”
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