Pilks
Player Valuation: £8m
I'm firmly of the opinion, and have been for many years, that the biggest mystery in world football is why everyone hangs on Pele's every word before each major tournament when the man is yet to utter a single word which isn't complete and utter twaddle
Case in point - remember when he announced confidently, and was endlessly requoted as if it was gospel, that 'an African team will definitely win the World Cup before the milennium'? That made sure football lovers throughout the Dark Continent were cast into the wasteland for the next three decades or so...
Then there was that memorable pronouncement at Italia 90 that 'Columbia will win this tournament'. Sure enough, they were back selling cocaine and framing English footballers for jewel thefts before the first two weeks were out...
When he started banging on as spokesman for erectile dysfunction, sufferers everywhere must surely have given up en masse, accepting that surely nothing could be done for them...
Has there ever been anyone to get so many things so hilariously arse-about-tit, yet still be treated as an 'authority on the subject'? And while I'm at it, he was bang overrated as a player too. Best or Cruyff would have eaten him for breakfast one-on-one.
Case in point - remember when he announced confidently, and was endlessly requoted as if it was gospel, that 'an African team will definitely win the World Cup before the milennium'? That made sure football lovers throughout the Dark Continent were cast into the wasteland for the next three decades or so...
Then there was that memorable pronouncement at Italia 90 that 'Columbia will win this tournament'. Sure enough, they were back selling cocaine and framing English footballers for jewel thefts before the first two weeks were out...
When he started banging on as spokesman for erectile dysfunction, sufferers everywhere must surely have given up en masse, accepting that surely nothing could be done for them...
Has there ever been anyone to get so many things so hilariously arse-about-tit, yet still be treated as an 'authority on the subject'? And while I'm at it, he was bang overrated as a player too. Best or Cruyff would have eaten him for breakfast one-on-one.
