My Football Diary.

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Bungle

Bungle

Player Valuation: £90m
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Sorry if I'm stepping on your toes a bit MickM86

diary-notebook-(basketball--football-print-on-cover)-16121685311.jpg
 

I opened this expecting a detailed story including toilet visits, pasta bakes, collecting family members from work & lids consuming beak from a bollock.

& all you delivered was this........

Negged.
 

Today I got up, had breakfast (Weetabix x4) and headed for the shower, as I went into the bathroom I could see the light was already on and remembered thinking "FFS, can't any of these cun*s turn the light off when they're finished, I pay the electricity bill" Jumped in the shower and couldn't get the right temperature for ages, anyway I finally did and started having a little sing along in the shower. Got out and dried myself, but got covered in blue bits off the towel as I'd picked up one of the new ones that my mrs bought from Matalan a few days earlier, she'd left them in the bathroom and hadn't washed them yet, so I fumed to myself for a minute. I walked out of the bathroom and past the bedroom where the mrs was still asleep, her arse was half hanging out of the bed and I thought about having a go on it for a minute but quickly changed my mind when she let one rip. Got dressed and put my newish shoes on, remember thinking "why are these laces barely long enough for me to tie up", anyway finished getting ready and left the house, I could see the traffic building up outside and knew I was in for sitting around in traffic for ages. Got to the car park and didn't have enough change for the car park, so ran over to the shop and bought a wispa, I didn't really fancy it but I needed the change from a tenner for the machine. Walked down the 3 flights of stairs from the car park cos the lift was broken again, there were a couple of drunks asleep on the first floor so had to negotiate my way round them and not catch AIDS, walked down the alley to work where there is the morning stench of piss from the pissed folks from the pub next door and headed into the office. The lights were on so I knew I didn't have to try and dig my keys out of my pocket I remember thinking as I walked up the stairs "These stairs really need a good hoover", anyway walked in and went for a piss, the window was open in the gents so I knew instantly that the guy before me had absolutely destroyed the toilet, I gagged a little bit as I walked in and then breathed through my mouth the rest of the time, thought to myself "he's eaten something a bit dodgy, or does he have actual bowel problems". So yeah, anyway, I'm at work now so should get on.
 

This is good mate. No wonder the tramps can't get a job if they can't be arsed getting out of bed like. Maybe they were tired striking teachers, they don't get paid much you know.
 
orchard said:
This is good mate. No wonder the tramps can't get a job if they can't be arsed getting out of bed like. Maybe they were tired striking teachers, they don't get paid much you know.
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Maybe they hadn't been to bed after staying up all night marking and doing prep work for the following day? Nobody had told these 2 poor bastards they were striking so all that prep has gone to waste.
 

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