'muricans

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

So that we can establish which of you is the hickest on here it would be helpful if you could post the following information....

• Distance to closest metropolis
• Distance to nearest 'Trailer Park'
• Distance from Lizard Lick
• What do you call a 'Party' i.e. shindig, hoe down etc
• Do they line dance at said gathering
• What is the local footwear of choice
• Do you know anyone that is married to a blood relative
• Do you own a sawn off shirt
• Have you all or none of your teeth (state %)

Of course if the closest Metropolis is also considered Hick then you must state the nearest 1 that isn't.

Please feel free to point a finger at anyone else that you feel is hicker than you with reasons why.


I pronounce the 'murican wool test open.

Gentlemen, start your 'injins.

 

[SerenityNigh]

What's an acceptable "metropolis?" There are some areas in the US that are adequately defined as Metro and hick at the same time.

 

[SerenityNigh]

Might want to add # of guns to that list too?

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

What's an acceptable "metropolis?" There are some areas in the US that are adequately defined as Metro and hick at the same time.

In which you must state the nearest that isn't, also stating in brackets the 1 that is and also multiply the 2 together.

 

[Kurt.]

What's an acceptable "metropolis?" There are some areas in the US that are adequately defined as Metro and hick at the same time.

A metro-hick hybrid is commonly known as a mick

@micknick

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Might want to add # of guns to that list too?

yall hayav guns dowent yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaw ?

 

[SerenityNigh]

In which you must state the nearest that isn't, also stating in brackets the 1 that is and also multiply the 2 together.

FFS, a non-hick Metro area? I'm proper screwed.

 

[johnnydawg68]

I have no shot here. I'm a city boy.

 

[Kurt.]

Also, you must state if you have a relative with two first names, eg :- jimbob, maryellen

 

[SerenityNigh]

I have no shot here. I'm a city boy.

Your Kansas roots must give you some 'Merican cred?

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I have no shot here. I'm a city boy.

I think we can safely say that the rest of your countrymen with class Kaynzas to be quite hick, given that they walk around in 10 gallon hats and shi*kickers.

Also, you must state if you have a relative with two first names, eg :- jimbob, maryellen

ah yes, the good ole unhyphenated double barrel first name

 

[pfim]

• Distance to closest metropolis-90 minute drive, Boston
  
• Distance to nearest 'Trailer Park'-ehh, probably a 20 minute drive?
  
• Distance from Lizard Lick-I don't know what this is sounds gross/intriguing
  
• What do you call a 'Party' i.e. shindig, hoe down etc-a party
  
• Do they line dance at said gathering-no
• What is the local footwear of choice-shoes
• Do you know anyone that is married to a blood relative-not that I'm aware of
  
• Do you own a sawn off shirt-Sawn? no.
  
• Have you all or none of your teeth (state %)-I have all teeth but my wisdom teeth. I read somewhere that Maine as the second highest % of population with no teeth, behind only West Virginia.

There are two counties in Maine (York and Cumberland) that would be considered "normal." The counties make up 7% of the land in the state, but 36% of the population. Once you get past those two counties, it's hickville/Canada.

 

[SerenityNigh]

• Distance to closest metropolis | 0 mi / closest "non-hick" metro is probably St Louis (~500 mi)

• Distance to nearest 'Trailer Park' | less than 2 mi

• Distance from Lizard Lick | is that in NC? probably 1,000 mi

• What do you call a 'Party' i.e. shindig, hoe down etc | party, but a fete can be found nearby as well

• Do they line dance at said gathering | 50% chance

• What is the local footwear of choice | depends on the job

• Do you know anyone that is married to a blood relative | kissing cousins are for kissing only / nobody with a double name

• Do you own a sawn off shirt | work is done in long sleeves

• Have you all or none of your teeth (state %) | >90%
• 0 guns (sadly, hurts my score)

 

[RaleighBlue]

Distance to closest metropolis: 20 minutes to Raleigh, 30 minutes from Durham (If this doesn't count, I guess D.C. would be next - something like 4 hours).

Distance to nearest Trailer Park: 5 minutes - I live in the Southern United States

Distance from Lizard Lick: Lizard Lick, North Carolina is 35 miles from my house.

A party is a party

No line dancing

Footwear of choice: Flip flops for the summer, which is the majority of the year, athletic shoes other times of the year

I do not know anyone married to a blood relative as far as I am aware

I don't even know what Sawn is, but I'm certain the answer is no.

All of my teeth minus wisdom teeth. I would suggest 75% of the state as all of their teeth.

 

[toffeestillidie]

So that we can establish which of you is the hickest on here it would be helpful if you could post the following information....

• Distance to closest metropolis -I live about 2 miles from Washington, DC, I've biked to it before
• Distance to nearest 'Trailer Park' -There are some in Virginia, maybe 30 miles away?
• Distance from Lizard Lick - No idea what this is, but there's a cool nature center near where my folks live (about 15 miles from where I live)that has lizards, also the national zoo
• What do you call a 'Party' i.e. shindig, hoe down etc -People will usually just say they're "having people over", I like to call parties Box Socials cos it makes me laugh
• Do they line dance at said gathering - Yes. People line dance at every single American party ever.
• What is the local footwear of choice -Sperry Topsiders
• Do you know anyone that is married to a blood relative -No... well maybe
• Do you own a sawn off shirt - I assume you mean with ripped sleeves? I have one t-shirt where the sleeve tore during rugby practice, so I cut both sleeves off
• Have you all or none of your teeth (state %) 87.5%, had my wisdom teeth removed. Your teeth would probably be as nice as mine if you stayed away from Cadbury.

Of course if the closest Metropolis is also considered Hick then you must state the nearest 1 that isn't.

Please feel free to point a finger at anyone else that you feel is hicker than you with reasons why.
You might find this amusing. I live in the northern part of the state of Virginia, and a lot of people around here will always specify that they're from "northern virginia", because other parts of the state are very rural/hickish. I don't care either way personally.

I pronounce the 'murican wool test open.

Gentlemen, start your 'injins.