Modern parenting

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Daveysgingerlovechild

Daveysgingerlovechild

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In an interesting turn of events, the DCL thread diverted into a discussion on parenting, gender roles, earning power, and who should look after the children.

Thank you @banno @SJB @Nymzee and @JimmyJeffers for broaching this difficult and sensitive topic.

So, dear GOT, what are your thoughts on roles as parents, division of labor, and if one parent should stay at home if the other earns more?
 

JimmyJeffers said:
Honestly think people live in a different reality. Even my most affluent mates are 2 working parents with young kids in daycare. Fair play if you can work out a way to do this otherwise.

The age of the obedient housewife, with an household able to survive from 1 wage ended years ago.
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Indeed. There is no one model and much comes to choice, situation or personal preference rather than norms or expectations.

If anything, the reasons I know for one parent staying at home is crippling childcare costs, so it is financially more sensible for one parent to drop hours to stay at home. Grandparents play a huge role.

Only the uber-wealthy have nannies or send kids to boarding school.
 
I have 6mth old daughter, wife on maternity leave but that drops to statutory after 6mths.

I'm working full time and overtime and she is going to have to go back to work evenings when I can mind baby for 2hrs after work. Luckily she's in private practice and can choose her hours.

We'll get 15hrs free childcare from govt in Jan so she can go back to work another 2 days and it's pretty tough but we both wanted a full year of her with baby to give her best possible start.

I wish the paternity leave I got was better, 1 week paid and 1 week statutory so I was a grand down on my wages for the birth month which I spent half of in hospital anyway.

I've been offered a new job in NHS which I'll be appointed to in next few months as soon as HR have gone through their red tape so st least I'll be better protected than in private sector for flexibility with dependents etc.

If I had the money I'd have happily taken a year off to be with my daughter but it largely needs to be Mum due to breastfeeding attachments and schedule.
 

Eldest is 13, I still haven’t a clue what I’m doing and wing it daily.

Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.

A big annoyance of mine is when I hear “I’m ready for children”. Are you? Mine are 13 & 9 and I’m still not ready. I love them to bits but I haven’t got a clue.
 
I dont even remember how we used to do it, but at some point me and the wife worked while we had 3 young children.

The place I worked at closed down and we decided I would become a stay at home parent.

We made 1 wage work and now the children are grown up I care for my Grandchild while my daughter works.

Trying to get back into work, but not having much luck after such a long absence, we are lucky that we have very supportive parents, fiscally.

My mother has never got her head around it and would always have a go over me staying at home while my in laws have never once said a word regarding it.
 
The prospect of parenthood terrifies me, no idea how folk cope.

Couple of more senior colleagues (male and female) at work have at least 2 kids and they (and partners) work full time. They both look constantly exhausted. That's with flexible hours to work around the kids. But I guess that also leads to picking stuff up in the evening. Pretty sure they'd all like to drop hours, but can't due to mortgage costs etc.
 

Goat said:
me and the wife worked while we had 3 children.
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Same but we’ve 2.

It’s tough sometimes.

Luckily both our parents are retired and incredibly supportive. They’re 9 and 13 now (she’s a typical teenager and he’s football crazy) but when they were younger I don’t know how we would’ve managed without their help.
 
Daveysgingerlovechild said:
In an interesting turn of events, the DCL thread diverted into a discussion on parenting, gender roles, earning power, and who should look after the children.

Thank you @banno @SJB @Nymzee and @JimmyJeffers for broaching this difficult and sensitive topic.

So, dear GOT, what are your thoughts on roles as parents, division of labor, and if one parent should stay at home if the other earns more?
Click to expand...
Hahahaha lord of war you mate
 
Daveysgingerlovechild said:
The prospect of parenthood terrifies me, no idea how folk cope.

Couple of more senior colleagues (male and female) at work have at least 2 kids and they (and partners) work full time. They both look constantly exhausted. That's with flexible hours to work around the kids. But I guess that also leads to picking stuff up in the evening. Pretty sure they'd all like to drop hours, but can't due to mortgage costs etc.
Click to expand...

My main fear for having a kid wasn't really that side, it was more us losing our individual identities as adults and morph into adults who walks around John Lewis in jeans and a brown shoe, and gf going for keeping up coffee wheres your lie about your your perfect kid, and going to a BBQ wearing a polo top and listening to The New Radicals

Luckily, we've both been pretty good at keeping the same interests, dressing the same etc to the point where people are surprised either of us are parents when they find out which is what we hoped for all along
 

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