Mistakes you've made recently

[Maxwell]

I, for example, was today asked (via text) by a female I've been having relations with if I liked a pair of shoes she was trying on in a shop.
I took my time and carefully thought out the answer before deciding that honesty was the best policy here.

'Hell no', was my response.

'In the time it took you to respond I'd bought the shoes, you nob', was hers.

Mistake.

 

[jal123]

Opening this thread.

 

[tommye]

I, for example, was today asked (via text) by a female I've been having relations with if I liked a pair of shoes she was trying on in a shop.
I took my time and carefully thought out the answer before deciding that honesty was the best policy here.

'Hell no', was my response.

'In the time it took you to respond I'd bought the shoes, you nob', was hers.

Mistake.

fool

 

[Bungle]

My missus had her first epileptic fit for a while yesterday so I took the day off work to make sure she was alright. I then sent a message on the work whatsapp group to inform them I wouldn't be in and the reason for this. They were all very sympathetic and wished her all the best, to which I replied "On the upside I was able to chuck the washing on her and she has spun that dry"

I think I now realise that my colleagues sense of humour is very different to mine and regret sending it to them.

 

[bol-uk]

Put my new kitchen in with a new slab on the floor. 4 weeks late - damp slab!

The whole lot, including kitchen, has to come up.

Never put a DPM down did I.

 

[tommye]

Put my new kitchen in with a new slab on the floor. 4 weeks late - damp slab!

The whole lot, including kitchen, has to come up.

Never put a DPM down did I.

 

[Huyton Layne]

I used it's instead of its in a note to the wife. Still haunts me.

 

[tommye]

Opened this...
https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/threads/2016-transfer-thread.81190/

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

Says to my wife;
"Your sister likes it"

 

[tommye]

Says to my wife;
"Your sister likes it"

This post reminds me of rodeo sex.
The very best.

 

[carlos21]

Getting uncharted 4 guys,

 

[Tramps_mate]

Put my new kitchen in with a new slab on the floor. 4 weeks late - damp slab!

The whole lot, including kitchen, has to come up.

Never put a DPM down did I.

I don't understand you.

 

[bol-uk]

I don't understand you.

Which bit?

 

[.....!]

Not agreeing with the Wife... most of the time.