Miracle Cold Cures

[ijjysmith]

You got any?

I appear to have come down with man flu all of a sudden.

Know any quick ways to get rid?

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

a bell to summon assistance, drinks, turn telly on, pass remote etc should be available on prescription.

oh, and she'll need to suck the poison out.

 

[chicoazul]

A furious masturbation session usually cleans the sinuses and relieves the symptoms mate.

Go to xhamster and type in "Night Nurse".

 

[ijjysmith]

Like it.

*unzips and calls mrs ijjy

 

[ilikecheese]

Bleach...it cures everything

 

[Deleted member 28206]

You got any?

I appear to have come down with man flu all of a sudden.

Know any quick ways to get rid?

Red bull. vitamins and Steam room and sauna always help me. Loads of orange juice too.

 

[bluejock]

Get a dog to lick your face

 

[ijjysmith]

Get a dog to lick your face

I've got 2 cats. Will it still work?

 

[ijjysmith]

Red bull. vitamins and Steam room and sauna always help me. Loads of orange juice too.

Red Bull? Really?

True story, my mate 24 years old used to drink loads of it, and early last year had a minor heart attack. Docs blamed it on too much Taurine stuff. Crazy. He's ok now but I try to stay away.

I've got some of that Olbas Oil stuff so I'll go under that in a bit. Could do without a cold right now.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Tiger Balm on your helmet mate will sweat it out of you in less than an hour, they swear by it in Thailand.

 

[Woolly Blue]

Sawdust and whisky.
I used this treatment last week and the cold beat a hasty retreat after a couple of days.

 

[formerly manx toffee]

Rub sawdust around you parts you be stood up straight before you can blink.

ATTENSHUN!!!!

 

[Jamo Martinez]

You got any?

I appear to have come down with man flu all of a sudden.

Know any quick ways to get rid?

Get your Gerbil on the Job. Armaggedon!!!!

 

[DualityNSNO]

2x Paracetamol, 2x Metamizole (analgin, algocalmin, algozon, however it's called around your parts)**, 2-3x those little Vitamin C pills, or any high-vitamin C substitute. Blanket. Heat. Cold gone in less than a day.

**Substitute is whiskey or any high alcohol spirit.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Keep trying to blow your own mate, the excertions will make you forget about the cold, and if you manage to reach with even the tip of your tongue then you'll be that made up that the man flu will disappear immediately.

*note : on no account in all of the excitement inform Mrs Ijj that you can reach it.