Memories

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Theres a lot of memories involving sh*t here, and i also have one.

I have a very good memory of running down the stairs to tell my mam that my brother wasnt wiping his arse properly after a dump. probably still doesnt wipe his arse properly the dirty red sh*te!
 

Dublintoff said:
Theres a lot of memories involving sh*t here, and i also have one.

I have a very good memory of running down the stairs to tell my mam that my brother wasnt wiping his arse properly after a dump. probably still doesnt wipe his arse properly the dirty red sh*te!
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I bet he stands to wipe aswell.
 
Ah I forgot to update, I tried the sitting down wipe thing. Wasn't all that bad to be honest, it's all in the technique.

I reckon it should only be deployed in three circumstances though.

1 - When you're wrecked.

2 - If you're trying to snatch a quick wank on the bog while the other half is in bed.

3 - When you have the wildies and there's a possibility it will drip onto the floor or your bills when you stand up.
 
Remember being at the zoo with primary school and being told not to put our fingers through the mesh of the little chimp cage, so I did trying to get one of the little tykes to do something (anything) I got bored so pulled my fingers away from the cage just as one of the little baztards sprang to try and take one of my fingers off. It was a bit grumpy, I was a bit scared. Then I had an ice cream.
 

chicoazul said:
Ah I forgot to update, I tried the sitting down wipe thing. Wasn't all that bad to be honest, it's all in the technique.

I reckon it should only be deployed in three circumstances though.

1 - When you're wrecked.

2 - If you're trying to snatch a quick wank on the bog while the other half is in bed.

3 - When you have the wildies and there's a possibility it will drip onto the floor or your bills when you stand up.
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The only time I stand to wipe is in the toilets at Glastonbury. I stand to take a dump there though.
 
Some really cool young person asked me the other day, “What was your favourite fast food when you were growing up?” I looked at him in a kindly way and said “We didn't have fast food when I was growing up. All the food was slow.”

“C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?”

“It was a place called at home.” I explained. “Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."
 
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