MAKE YOUR OWN TRANSFER RUMOUR

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HuddersfieldToffee

HuddersfieldToffee

Player Valuation: £10m
HEY GUYS!!1!11!!

It's time we all had some fun and we made our own Everton transfer rumour, in the same way that the Daily Mail, Mirror and Sun do it (real proven technique)!!

STAGE ONE: Take the month of your birthday;

JAN - John Stones
FEB - Phil Jagielka
MAR - Kevin Mirallas
APR - Leighton Baines
MAY - James McCarthy
JUN - Séamus Coleman
JUL - Steven Naismith
AUG - Leon Osman
SEP - Ryan Ledson
OCT - Ross Barkley
NOV - Luke Garbutt
DEC - Tim Howard

STAGE TWO: Take the colour of the shirt you're wearing;
Black - Tottenham
Blue - Chelsea
Red - United
Orange - Liverpool
Brown - Arsenal
White - Napoli
Pink - City
Green - Real Madrid

STAGE THREE: Write an article backing it up

"(Insert name of Team) are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton starlet/talisman/key man (delete as appropriate) (Insert name of Player), with a bid believed to be around £(last two digits of your phone number) Million, with a £(day of your birthday x 10,000) a week contract."

The (Insert team selected) coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace (insert name of ageing player in just about any position, vaguely related to the player signed).

(Insert name of player)'s representatives met with (Insert name of club) last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by greater playing time/a chance to win titles/a chance to play in the Champions League in this late/early stage of his career.

(Insert name of player), (Insert Age of Player) came into the Everton lineup after impressing at (Insert name of last club he played or was loaned to)."

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE A JOURNALIST NOW :)

Side note, here's my effort. :)

Tottenham are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton Starlet James McCarthy, with a bid believed to be around £9 Million, with a £240,000 a week contract."

The Spurs coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Tom Huddlestone.

McCarthy's representatives met with Spurs last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by greater playing time in this early stage of his career.

McCarthy came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Wigan.
 

Chelsea are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton talisman Tim Howard, with a bid believed to be around £95 Million, with a £200,000 a week contract.

The Chelsea coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Cech.

Howards's representatives met with Chelsea last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by the Champions League in this late stage of his career.

Tim Howard, 35 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Manchester United.

Lol.
 
"Napoli are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton starlet Luke Garbutt, with a bid believed to be around £10 Million, with a £45,000 a week contract."

The Napoli coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Darious Pergotti.

Garbutt's representatives met with Napoli last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by greater playing time anda chance to play in the Champions League in this early stage of his career."
 
Real Madrid are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton key man, Antolin Alcaraz with a bid believed to be around 33p, with a £2 a week contract.

The Madrid coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Raphael Varane.

Ant's representatives met with Madrid last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by greater injury facilities at this stage of his career.

Antolin, too old came into the Everton lineup after not impressing at Wigan.
 
"Tottenham are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton starlet Ross Barkley, with a bid believed to be around £39 Million, with a £200,000 a week contract.

The Tottenham coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace outgoing Lewis Holtby - whose dad is known to be a fan of the Toffees.

Barkley's representatives met with Spurs last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by greater playing time in this early stage of his career.

Barkley, 20 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Leeds and Sheffield Wednesday."
 

"Napoli are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton talisman Phil Jagielka with a bid believed to be around £94 Million, with a £90,000 a week contract."

The Napoli coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Christian Maggio.

Jagielka's representatives met with Napoli last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by a chance to play in the Champions League in this late stage of his career.

Jagielka, 31 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Sheffield United"

I'M A JOURNALIST YAY YWNA JTF96 WE GO AGEN
 
This one actually sounds quite good, sort it out Moyles:

Manchester United are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton key man Leon Osman, with a bid believed to be around £9.5 Million, with a £180,000 a week contract."

The Manchester United coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Ryan Giggs.

Leon Osman's representatives met with United last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by greater playing time/a chance to win titles/a chance to play in the Champions League in this late/early stage of his career.

Leon Osman, 32 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at youth level.
 
"Chelsea are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton starlet Ryan Ledson with a bid believed to be around £27 Million, with a £280,000 a week contract."

The Chelsea coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace David Luiz.

Ryan Ledson's representatives met with Chelsea last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by a chance to play in the Champions League in this early stage of his career.

Ledson, 16 is yet to start for Everton after captaining England to the European title"
 
Napoli are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton talisman Leon Osman, with a bid believed to be around £16 Million, with a £50,000 a week contract."

The Napoli coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Marek Hamšík.

Osman's representatives met with Napoli last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by a chance to play in the Champions League in this late stage of his career.

Osman, 33 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at no one ever.


What a dream that would be. Osman gone and 16m.
 
Tottenham last night were preparing a player plus cash swap deal for Tim Howard. Chairman Daniel Levy has been in 24/7 talks with Everton supreemo Bill Kenwright over the American stopper who at 35 is said to welcome this move to enhance his World Cup chances. Everton are thought to be in talks with flying winger Andros Townsend and some training flip charts and cones.
We spoke to the theatre empresario kenwright who told us, Tottenham have been looking at Tim to play as a false number 9 and were are close to agreeing a deal for Andros to replace Tim between the posts as a sweeper/winger/keeper. It's a unique deal and I am hoping to develop it as a stage production.
A transfer of this magnitude would really help Everton move forward as a club and give manager Roberto Martinez extra financial clout in the summer transfer window as the club try and break into the top 4.
 

"Manchester United are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton starlet Séamus Coleman, with a bid believed to be around £52 Million, with a £290,000 a week contract."

The Manchester United coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Chris Smalling.

Séamus Coleman's representatives met with Manchester United last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by money in this stage of his career. (Other options made no sense)

Séamus Coleman, 25 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Blackpool."
 
Napoli are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton starletLuke Garbutt, with a bid believed to be around £78 Million, with a £110,000 a week contract."

The Napoli coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Zuniga.

Garbutt's representatives met with Napoli last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by greater playing time.

Garbutt, 21 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Colchester.

Fair play to the lad, wouldn't begrudge him a move like this
 
Guest89 said:
Napoli are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton starletLuke Garbutt, with a bid believed to be around £78 Million, with a £110,000 a week contract."

The Napoli coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Zuniga.

Garbutt's representatives met with Napoli last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by greater playing time.

Garbutt, 21 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Colchester.

Fair play to the lad, wouldn't begrudge him a move like this
Click to expand...

He's doing what's best for his career
 
"Real Madrid are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton key man Leighton Baines, with a bid believed to be around £52 Million, with a £120,000 a week contract."

The Real Madrid coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace any current Real Madrid player as he is boss.

Baines's representatives met with Madrid last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by Ronaldo and Gareth Bale's selection of hair gel.

Baines, 28 came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Pie Athletic."
 
"Liverpool are prepared to reignite their long term interest with a sensational raid on Everton talisman Leon Osman, with a bid believed to be around £58 Million, with a £10,000 a week contract."

The Liverpool coaching staff believe that the Everton man can replace Steven Gerrard.

Osman's representatives met with Liverpool last night and the two parties are willing to do a deal. The player is tempted by a chance to play in the Champions League in this late stage of his career.

Osman, 33, came into the Everton lineup after impressing at Derby County."

Not arguing with this. Someone make this happen.
 

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