LMFAO

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Caveo

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As tentions are high at the minute with a certain game in the morrow , sit down grab a beer or 8 and have a read of some of the reviews of THIS Paul Ross canvas on Amazon , soooooooo funny evey one is a pisstake ......enjoy
 

Brilliant. I remember a friend some time ago told me about the art of the Amazon Internet Trolls. I never use Amazon, ever, so never understood what he was going on about

"Yesterday I was a bed ridden, drug addled alcoholic with no hope, no future.Then I bought this.

Now I'm a bed ridden, drug addled alcoholic with no hope, no future, but with a 20" Canvas of Paul Ross.
You just never know what lies around the corner."
 
:lol:
"Don't buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn't stopped crying for a week"
 
I used to be a very successful insurance salesman at AIG. I had riches beyond belief: Faberge Eggs; Brut Aftershave, also by Faberge; a diamond encrusted Rolex; lime green Lamborghini; monogrammed slippers; a piano shaped toilet that once belonged to Liberace and a 16 ft pyramid of Ferrero Rocher chocolates. Some friends at the country club let me in on this secret that all the old money had canvas printed photos of Paul Ross, so I bought one at auction.

There was something wonderful and majestic about it, some people say the enigmatic smile is a knowing reference to his Merovingian ancestry. It hung for 3 years above the alabaster fireplace in my drawing room, replacing Munch's Scream, which I borrowed from a friend who was also in the insurance business.

But over time there was something unsettling about the picture. At first it sounded like it emitted a high pitched, almost imperceptible, tone, like an old TV set. Then it started whispering things to me. After a while it started telling jokes and then giving me stock tips. Eventually it recommended I invest all my money with a guy called Bernie Madoff.

Now I have nothing, I get high by sucking anti-freeze from car windscreen washers, and even had to take public transport. My only possession is this picture of Paul Ross. It is my love, my life. He completes me.
 
To all readers of these reviews please beware! Do not allow the cherubic visage of this being to lure you into the false belief that his intentions are aught but vile.
I must pass this knowledge on before I, like my family, am overtaken by madness and death...
But a mere 30 days ago I purchased this seemingly innocuous portrait from a house clearance, the family had died in tragic circumstances and all their possessions were being sold. My mother had for a long time been a fan of Paul ross and during a long illness watched his daytime televisual faire, something that she came to feel had, in part, contributed to her recovery. I spotted this portrait propped against a rattan chair in the front garden and immediately bought it thinking it would be a wonderful present. How wrong I was.
Within days my mother had taken to sitting before it for hours at a time chanting unearthly utterances. "Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa"
My father spiralled into depression and eventually cast himself from the west tower. Mother stopped dressing for dinner and eventually stopped eating altogether until finally her weakened body could take no more and she expired still sitting in the recliner, wearing her dressing gown quietly chanting those dark verses...
Now there is just me, me and Paul Ross for that is how our human mind names him but he has had many names throught the millenia, dark names, names that none but his own tounge can speak. I hear him now, his fearsome geometry glaring from beyond the canvas
I implore you do not buy this lest ye value your lives not....

I must stop writing... there are things to do...

to...

prepare....

Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
...
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
...
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa...
 

I purchased this wonderous print almost 2 years ago & it means more to me than you can ever imagine.

In fact I recently had a horrific house fire & only had time to save 2 things - I chose this & one of the twins!
 
Party rockin' in the hooouuusseee tooonnniiiggghhhttt.

I f*cking hate that song.
party-spock.jpg


At least they make funny songs, compared to the awful sh*t the new "popular" music is.
 


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