If you were a footballer....

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IF I WAS A FOOTBALLER...

I would hopefully have a second rate career as journeyman premier league player

Pick up the odd Carling cup medal and what not, nowt special

But then my luck would be in as I land a prestigious spot as a pundit on MOTD

I would then happily spend the rest of my days pretending I couldn't understand a single word that comes out of Hansens gob

"awbsoluutely diawborrlical" .......... "what's that Alan?"

"when ya talk aboot touch and technique"..............."eh? come again"

"just lurk at the space behind Narrni"..........."WHAT?"

would keep me amused anyway
 
Met Coleman outside the Halifax on Bold St, said a quick hello and gave a hand shake, he did the same, easy.

I was dying to try and get a sneaky look on his bank balance, though.
 
Summerskin said:
Met Coleman outside the Halifax on Bold St, said a quick hello and gave a hand shake, he did the same, easy.

I was dying to try and get a sneaky look on his bank balance, though.
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What did you say to him to initiate it like? Hi I'm an Evertonian just seems a bit weird.
 
Ive seen quite a few Chelsea players and managers at a hotel near the ground around matchdays. You always get a few kids and familys waiting for then to get autographs after the game. I have to say they're always good as gold and ive never seen them say no to anyone. You hear stories of some being arses but ive never seen it. Whenever ive met one in my cab they always seem to act quite humble as if they're afraid of apperaring arrogant or flash! Salt of the Earth footy players! Honest!
 

I think I'd always happily oblige kids and that, but be a bit annoyed if they were adults. I'm a nice guy so I'd probably let them have their picture but you get my drift.
 
Summerskin said:
"Alright Seamus nice to meet you fella."

*handshake*
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Yeah suppose it's easy when you put it like that. Was working at a club in Manchester coupla years back and quite literally bumped into Jason Roberts. Turned into him and was just like 'oh sorry Jason' before cowering away behind the bar. That dude is MASSIVE.
 

I was out in town years ago getting a pair of trainee's when Danny Cadamatri bounced into the shop giving it the big time charlie attitude i was trying the trainee's on and talking to the lad serving me and Cadamatri interupts our chit-chat and starts lookin me up and down absolute nob he says nice trainees i said ye thats why im getting them ye cocky nob head! His mates just laughed at him, he was total bell end!
 
If I was a footballer, I would be absolutely world class and never be booked or injured.....i'd be perfect....

Having said that I would have the George best image and go on the lash all the time (which wouldnt affect me as id be perfect) and go for numerous glamours (as id be perfect in appearance too)....

I would cultivate a bad boy image and revel in my fame......

Literally no-one would be able to approach me as I'd have heavy duty minders around when out in public....the only photos id be taking with the public would be with stunners.

I would be the epitome of everything wrong with the modern day player....so much so that the papers would create another category just for me.
 
Im sure theyd rather have people coming up to them asking for a photo/autograph than just strolling up, taking a photo on their phone then walking off without saying anything.

That would angry me right up
 
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