I would love to live my entire life in a little submarine.
The kind powered by little seahorses... or maybe a small child. With gills. Or a rudimentary sodium powered turbine.
I'd glide around my subaqueous kingdom collecting razor clams and scallops with a gilded fishing net - sharing jokes with dolphins and poking aggressive sharks with my pokey-sharkey stick. Stupid f*cking sharks, always ruining my day with their teeth and silly thrashing. I'll kill them all one day.
Anyway, I'd really like to live in a little submarine. I love being in confined spaces - it makes me feel all snug and cosy. I once wrote to Jim'll Fix It and asked to be locked in a tiny box (2' x 2') for 3 days - with only CapriSun and marshmallow for sustenance - and left under a different bridge each day. I left the choice of bridge up to Mr Saville.
I never heard back from him.
Scum. Sub-human scum.
