BrisbaneToffee
Player Valuation: £500k
Hi all. July 1 and PSR pressures have diminished, so it looks like I’m your new signing. You get what you pay for—which isn’t much.
So, a little about me. Have followed Everton since 1978 (post Argentine World Cup). I'm from Brisbane (that would probably be obvious). My picture is Tim Cahill spotted in the wild. I also follow AFL (Brisbane Lions)
My most iconic Evertonian? Given the date of me starting to follow Everton, it couldn’t be anyone other than Bob Latchford—always was, always will be. And Big Nev. There may even be a player from the mid-80’s by the name Steven Stevens. The entire teamsheet from '84/85. And Bob Latchford. And Timmy for obvious reasons. And Sharpy, despite any or all purported misdemeanours. And Paul Rideout for his superb forehead. And Reidy, who now comes adorned with a splendid hat. Did I mention Bob Latchford?
My favourite part of GOT is the Ale House of course. Witty, fun, and (often) utterly insane. I’ll fit right in (well, the insane bit). Based upon my casual observations, the insane bits usually happen during the off-season and international windows, often propagated by the usual suspects. Who Keyser Soze is, I have yet to determine.
And why Everton I hear you ask? “Once Everton has touched you, nothing will be the same”, said Alan Ball. Everton has not only touched me, it even felt me up, massaged my man-boobs, and then proceeded to give me a quality reach-around, followed by a gentle spooning. I think of it as a marriage. Just as a successful marriage is not measured by how many times you get it away, so too following Everton isn’t about winning titles all the time. It’s about camaraderie amongst fellow Toffee travellers, the highs and the lows, amongst many other things, not least it being akin to cleaning the Augean stables. And yet, we all pitch in as one, right? Although, having said that, a couple of trophies before I snuff it wouldn’t be too much to ask, surely?
** Looks into the distance with a thousand-yard stare and starts whistling “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” **
L.F.C? I am nothing if not Australian, and I openly express the desire to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, lay waste to their homes with fire and sword, and hear the lamentation of their womenfolk. They deserve nothing less.
Most abiding Everton moment? There are many iconic moments, although bizarrely, the one that stands out the most is sitting up in the wee small hours seeing Craig Johnston scoring the ahead goal at the 1986 FA Cup. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I decided that throwing a shoe at the TV was the most appropriate response. He further sullied his reputation with me by declaring that “playing for Australia would be like surfing for England”. If I ever meet him I’m gonna kick him in the jewels. The exquisite lightness of my being is only held down by the weight of the grudges I hold.
Lastly, but not least, pineapple on pizza. Definitely socially acceptable. Pineapple goes with ham. That’s all there is to it.
Well, that’s me introduced. Oh, did I mention Bob Latchford?
So, a little about me. Have followed Everton since 1978 (post Argentine World Cup). I'm from Brisbane (that would probably be obvious). My picture is Tim Cahill spotted in the wild. I also follow AFL (Brisbane Lions)
My most iconic Evertonian? Given the date of me starting to follow Everton, it couldn’t be anyone other than Bob Latchford—always was, always will be. And Big Nev. There may even be a player from the mid-80’s by the name Steven Stevens. The entire teamsheet from '84/85. And Bob Latchford. And Timmy for obvious reasons. And Sharpy, despite any or all purported misdemeanours. And Paul Rideout for his superb forehead. And Reidy, who now comes adorned with a splendid hat. Did I mention Bob Latchford?
My favourite part of GOT is the Ale House of course. Witty, fun, and (often) utterly insane. I’ll fit right in (well, the insane bit). Based upon my casual observations, the insane bits usually happen during the off-season and international windows, often propagated by the usual suspects. Who Keyser Soze is, I have yet to determine.
And why Everton I hear you ask? “Once Everton has touched you, nothing will be the same”, said Alan Ball. Everton has not only touched me, it even felt me up, massaged my man-boobs, and then proceeded to give me a quality reach-around, followed by a gentle spooning. I think of it as a marriage. Just as a successful marriage is not measured by how many times you get it away, so too following Everton isn’t about winning titles all the time. It’s about camaraderie amongst fellow Toffee travellers, the highs and the lows, amongst many other things, not least it being akin to cleaning the Augean stables. And yet, we all pitch in as one, right? Although, having said that, a couple of trophies before I snuff it wouldn’t be too much to ask, surely?
** Looks into the distance with a thousand-yard stare and starts whistling “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” **
L.F.C? I am nothing if not Australian, and I openly express the desire to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, lay waste to their homes with fire and sword, and hear the lamentation of their womenfolk. They deserve nothing less.
Most abiding Everton moment? There are many iconic moments, although bizarrely, the one that stands out the most is sitting up in the wee small hours seeing Craig Johnston scoring the ahead goal at the 1986 FA Cup. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I decided that throwing a shoe at the TV was the most appropriate response. He further sullied his reputation with me by declaring that “playing for Australia would be like surfing for England”. If I ever meet him I’m gonna kick him in the jewels. The exquisite lightness of my being is only held down by the weight of the grudges I hold.
Lastly, but not least, pineapple on pizza. Definitely socially acceptable. Pineapple goes with ham. That’s all there is to it.
Well, that’s me introduced. Oh, did I mention Bob Latchford?
