Health advice

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monty

Sack Sky and donate to GOT...donations are needed
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?



A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste

them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart

will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of

your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

_____



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?



A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and

corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an

efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat

chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).

And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of

vegetable products.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?



A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that

means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the

goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?



A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If

you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise

program?



A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?



A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.

In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad

for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

middle?



A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should

only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?



A: Are you crazy? HELLO.. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best

feel-good food around!

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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?



A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?



A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!





Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about

food and diets.
 


haha.

Should have added that place to my rant thread on ToffeeWeb, the price is shocking. :mad:


The wife and daughter are wanting to join and they wonder why I'm not in favour, where my meat pie, bloody shrek pinched it again:)
 
Im in the gym five times a week here. [Poor language removed] all else to do of a nighttime.

How much does it cost for David Lloyds now? I live right across the road from one.
 
Im in the gym five times a week here. [Poor language removed] all else to do of a nighttime.

How much does it cost for David Lloyds now? I live right across the road from one.

I've been after her to tell me but she wont until she's joined, stubborn bitch. She used to be in Total Fitness and that was around £250 a year, Lloyds is far dearer so I'm led to believe.
 

[Poor language removed] the bed. Thats a bit expensive isnt it?

My ones free, but full of posing Cubans. I just let sweat a bit, let out a few grunts and try not to look too out of place. Not unlike my sex life, to be fair...
 
[Poor language removed] the bed. Thats a bit expensive isnt it?

My ones free, but full of posing Cubans. I just let sweat a bit, let out a few grunts and try not to look too out of place. Not unlike my sex life, to be fair...

I can't complain because for years I was a golf club, £750 a years and off to the matches, can do either now apart from say 'have a nice time' and then kick the dog.

Do you wear those Cuban sunglasses in the gym, I bet you look like a reject from the WWE:) :) :)
 

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