funny party stories

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tommye

tommye

Player Valuation: £120m
right lads. It's my daughters first birthday party today (birthday on weds)

Sooooo, in order to lighten my day, and keep me at some level of sanity, can you lads kindly share your party gems. It can be anything, at any party, that you wish to share. I look forward to you lovely lot keeping me entertained with tales of drunken debauchery and random things. Thanks. It is a good deed you are about to do.

(y) :unsure:
 
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My eldest took so long to unwrap his presents on his 2nd birthday we nearly all fell asleep, carefully taking sticky tape off FFS, he was 2!
 
Keeping it kids related mate.

I've got a bucket load of kids ones.

The youngest wanted a monster truck cake for his 5th, so Mrs Degs made a beautiful black one with black fondant icing, made everyones lips and tongues black for the next hour, better was bright green poo the next day. Told a good kopite mate at work who came round specially for a piece the next day, the txt's were funny the day after.
 
So, a couple of years ago we were like 13, me and 4 mates where at a party, we got really pissed and decided to walk to a local village, about 6 miles away to meet these 5 birds, they told we could stay at theres, when we got there we all got off with one each, but then they told us we couldnt stay so someone called us a taxi, we waited outside some village pub for it too come, an old pensioner lady about 80 walked out of the pub pissed, and was about too drive so I thought Id tell her not too because shed crash, she wasnt having any of it so she walked over and lamped me! Dropped me. So she drove off, and her mate who was about 60 came out to apologise, and was talking to us for a bit, then the taxi came so we all got in, or we thought we had, we looked out the front and our mate was having a proper passionate kiss with the woman we were talking to, he got in and we were all crying with laughter, we got back to our mates and i kneeled on his table for some reason, so his 9 year old cousin came over and pushed me off, smashed my head on the washing machine and knocked myself out, woke up in the morning at my own doorstop, apparently I'd crawled home. Mad night.
 

50th birthday last year, dear Mrs Degs makes me a birthday cake shaped like a toilet with extremely realistic bowl contents. I'll upload a photo when I get round to it. The message on the cake said 50 and we still give a **** about your birthday!
 
a few weeks ago.... we were all quite drunk and there was a snooker table in somebody's game room at their house. We were waiting for our taxi, which was an hour and a half late. We were joking that we'd all batter the driver when he turned up for being late. As we were laughing my friend tried to lean on the snooker table... it was almost an exact replica of Del Boy falling through the bar in Only Fools and Horses. He fell flat on his face. Everybody in the room, fell about pissing themselves. Even the lad who fell couldn't get back up because he was laughing so much. The party was ****e up until this point.
 
FeedtheYank said:
So, a couple of years ago we were like 13, me and 4 mates where at a party, we got really pissed and decided to walk to a local village, about 6 miles away to meet these 5 birds, they told we could stay at theres, when we got there we all got off with one each, but then they told us we couldnt stay so someone called us a taxi, we waited outside some village pub for it too come, an old pensioner lady about 80 walked out of the pub pissed, and was about too drive so I thought Id tell her not too because shed crash, she wasnt having any of it so she walked over and lamped me! Dropped me. So she drove off, and her mate who was about 60 came out to apologise, and was talking to us for a bit, then the taxi came so we all got in, or we thought we had, we looked out the front and our mate was having a proper passionate kiss with the woman we were talking to, he got in and we were all crying with laughter, we got back to our mates and i kneeled on his table for some reason, so his 9 year old cousin came over and pushed me off, smashed my head on the washing machine and knocked myself out, woke up in the morning at my own doorstop, apparently I'd crawled home. Mad night.
Click to expand...

I lol'd. Brilliant stuff. 'Crawled home'.
 

I went to a house warming a few years back and got a hand job in the bathroom, I then spent the rest of the evening talking football with the girls boyfriend, I feel ashamed now, but not then.
 

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