Funniest thing that happened you coming to or going from a match

argietoffee · June 21, 2015

Need a laugh part 2

Eggs · June 21, 2015

......as a kid in the 60s and 70s you dare not wear a bobble hat to the game because there was a gang around Goodison who would pull it off your head and disappear into the crowd on your way home. Not funny I suppose but I wondered what they did with all of those hats. Interesting if anybody on here was also a victim or indeed a Bobble robber.

WA Toffee · June 21, 2015

At the Uruguay Colombia game at the maracana last year wearing my Everton top. After the game I was in desparate need of a toilet. Managed to find a restaurant and as I went to the toilet passed a table of Indians and 3 or 4 of them were wearing RS tops. Got the standard good natured abuse on my way in. Got to the toilet, had an explosion and used about half the roll to wipe it up. Didn't bother washing my hands and on my way out patted one of them on the back with the offending hand and said shame about Gerrard slipping, better luck next year.
I wonder if he has managed to get the hand shaped stain out yet?

blue76 · June 21, 2015

Waited for the bus to town outside the Park End.

COYBL25 · June 21, 2015

Saw an away fan ( can't remember who ) get a full smack in the face from a Coppers horse . Knocked him over and his face didnt look too good when he got up.

Dario Terracotta · June 21, 2015

Eggs said:
......as a kid in the 60s and 70s you dare not wear a bobble hat to the game because there was a gang around Goodison who would pull it off your head and disappear into the crowd on your way home. Not funny I suppose but I wondered what they did with all of those hats. Interesting if anybody on here was also a victim or indeed a Bobble robber.

@chicoazul has an interesting range for sale on eBay Eggs

lol

royalblue66 · June 21, 2015

Ex Bolton player Nicky Hunt at G P and this fella calling him Warwick every time he touched the ball,and this little lad saying to his ma "why is he calling him Wawick ma"? And she said " I don't know " and a fella said to her "do want me to tell him ?
Seemed funny at the time.

dholliday · June 21, 2015

WA Toffee said:
At the Uruguay Colombia game at the maracana last year wearing my Everton top. After the game I was in desparate need of a toilet. Managed to find a restaurant and as I went to the toilet passed a table of Indians and 3 or 4 of them were wearing RS tops. Got the standard good natured abuse on my way in. Got to the toilet, had an explosion and used about half the roll to wipe it up. Didn't bother washing my hands and on my way out patted one of them on the back with the offending hand and said shame about Gerrard slipping, better luck next year.
I wonder if he has managed to get the hand shaped stain out yet?

classy

Dutch Toffee · June 21, 2015

Not Everton related, but thought I share it anyway.

Going with Fortuna to an away match at RKC Waalwijk, somewhere in the 90's. Had to get off at Den Bosch CS and take the bus to Waalwijk. Coming back from the match, about 200 of us were met by the police at the train station in Den Bosch. One copper said to us that the special train to take us to The Hague was waiting for us. The Hague??? They mistaken our colours to that of The Hague, who also play in yellow and green. We were clearly heading back to Sittard, but almost silently we decided to play along and have a bit of fun. After we all got on board the train doors closed and the voice over the intercom informed us. 'This is a special train destined for The Hague. This train won't stop anywhere except for The Hague CS. At that point we were pissing ourself laughing and the coppers slowly realised there clearly was something wrong. As soon as they found out what a mistake they made, the train was summoned to make a return to Den Bosch CS.

Still have to laugh thinking back to this. One thing that puzzles me though is how that copper that informed us about that special train failed to recognise our dialect as completely different to that of The Hague.

royalblue66 · June 21, 2015

On Goodison road on match day This fella looks up and says to the mounted police woman " that horse looks knackered " she looked down at him and replied "
yes,and if you had been in between my legs for the last two hours,you would be knackered as well,everyone in bulk laughing. Happy days.

Smudge1985 · June 21, 2015

Driving back from Middlesbrough about 10 years ago, stopped at a service station, which already had 2 busloads of Blues in there. Stood outside just finishing a drink, and me and my dad see a car pull up. Out gets 3 lads in brand new still fold creased Liverpool home shirts, obviously on their way home from Anfield. We watched them walk past us into the services and just waited for the fun...5 seconds later, the loudest rendition you've ever heard of 'You're not from Liverpool...' and the 3 of them reappeared very shamefaced and got back in the car and drove off!

Cels · June 21, 2015

Not really a funny story as such:

Waiting at the bus stop going to the match with my mates when a Rover P6 pulled up and the driver, wearing a sheepskin coat and smoking a cigar, shouts "Going the match lads? Jump in". Made up, the three of us get in.

Arrive at Goodison Park, the guy parks the car up on the curb and we all bail out. Noticing he hadn't locked his car, and had also left the windows down I said, "You've not locked your car mate". To which he replied, "It's not my car", and laughed. It was at that point it sunk in to me and my mates that he had nicked it.

bluebud · June 21, 2015

After the Newcastle game last season was walking back towards Country road just behind the fan zone, three lads came legging it past from the direction of the club store two cops giving chase, the three lads split and went off in different directions. The lead cop, who was a massive bloke obviously wasn't checking his footing and ran straight off the end of the pavement, started to stumble and was wiped out by the cop behind who half hurdled his sprawling mass, he's hit the ground pretty hard, broke his radio and his helmets come off and landed about a meter in front of me, loads of cheers from people that saw it, I dunno why but I scooped down and pick it up, he's stood up snatched it off me and shouted "ger off you!" and staggered off after his mate. I turned round and my mate and about ten other Evertonians are looking at me with a what the F you doing lad look on my their faces, felt a bit of a tw@ so I says "bollocks I've always wanted one of those" peeps laughed an some fella shouts "that was a dive, he never touched him" I was off the hook, still don't know why I bothered should of punted it.

royalblue66 · June 21, 2015

Was at Coventry Highfield Road Ground, Tony Cottee first away game,at the turn style and the fella in front of me hands hi ticket over and just stands there,the operator says " o k move on" the fella says where is it ? The operator says " where's what "?
He said the crate of Ale, surely there has to be something after paying £15 for a ticket, you should be wearing a mask you ---

Pat's Van · June 21, 2015

WA Toffee said:
At the Uruguay Colombia game at the maracana last year wearing my Everton top. After the game I was in desparate need of a toilet. Managed to find a restaurant and as I went to the toilet passed a table of Indians and 3 or 4 of them were wearing RS tops. Got the standard good natured abuse on my way in. Got to the toilet, had an explosion and used about half the roll to wipe it up. Didn't bother washing my hands and on my way out patted one of them on the back with the offending hand and said shame about Gerrard slipping, better luck next year.
I wonder if he has managed to get the hand shaped stain out yet?

did you actually have sh!t all over your hand ?