Alan Whittle
Player Valuation: £70m
So, that school disco that you went to. The one where you made a nuisance of yourself with that really fit girl from the year above. The one where you got a snog when you expected a slap. Anyhow, since the summer she's been going out with the captain of the rugby team, and he remembers you. What's worse, your big brother, the big brother who made absolutely everything right, no matter what, has fallen out with your Dad and left home. If that's not bad enough, your senile old granddad has escaped from the asylum and is living with you again. It's the next school disco in a weeks time. Oh April.....what did we do?? We tried to make it better with a bit of Crystanbul but now comes the reckoning..
I know it's early and I know you have bigger fish to fry, (or Wurst to...err..eat) but I won't have time during the week. Anyhow, once you've belted the Jerries back to the ruins of the Reichstag it's those loveable lads from SE25 next up at the old lady. Now, we love coming to Goodison, and not just because we've won there twice in the last 17 years. We love coming there because it's a great ground, a great crowd, knowledgeable, sporting fans, good stewards, in short a great away day. Aahh, that place across the park..so near and yet so far in all those things.
But what of Palace? I hear you cry all agog like. What indeed? At the end of the last campaign some our younger fans were talking about top half finishes and the ones with a substance abuse problem were muttering about the Ropey Cup. We old lags knew though. Doing ok? Getting above our station? Time to cack it up big time. No Tone, Sigurdsson and Caulker can't have more that £500 a week. Who do you think we are? QPR? Tone?
Somebody injects Warnock with the elixir of life and back he comes, doing his best northern cheekie chappie act. (To be fair, I'd sooner have that than Sherwood).
So far, so mediocre. Terribly unlucky at Arsenal on the opening day, blitzed by BFS 'ammers, battling draw with the Barcodes and inept 0-0 (thanks again Jules) with Burnley. Not many teams will have said this before and meant it, but, we really miss Chamakh and I don't think he's going to be back for next week. Warnock has let favourite Glenn Murray go on loan to Reading (where he is already banging them in) and brought in Mrs Doyle from Wolves, and from what I've seen so far; yer won't yer won't yer won't yer won't.
You'll be pleased to know that Cameron Jerome has gone. Bolasie is his usual eratic self but to counter that....ALL HAIL KING WILF, and Puncheon is in a bit of form having buried the hatchet with Warnock. (a little deeper next time please Jason.)
As ever, it remains only one of two games this season when I hope Everton come of worse, so, smash the Jerries, then play yer Ressies v. us
Good luck lids!
I know it's early and I know you have bigger fish to fry, (or Wurst to...err..eat) but I won't have time during the week. Anyhow, once you've belted the Jerries back to the ruins of the Reichstag it's those loveable lads from SE25 next up at the old lady. Now, we love coming to Goodison, and not just because we've won there twice in the last 17 years. We love coming there because it's a great ground, a great crowd, knowledgeable, sporting fans, good stewards, in short a great away day. Aahh, that place across the park..so near and yet so far in all those things.
But what of Palace? I hear you cry all agog like. What indeed? At the end of the last campaign some our younger fans were talking about top half finishes and the ones with a substance abuse problem were muttering about the Ropey Cup. We old lags knew though. Doing ok? Getting above our station? Time to cack it up big time. No Tone, Sigurdsson and Caulker can't have more that £500 a week. Who do you think we are? QPR? Tone?
Somebody injects Warnock with the elixir of life and back he comes, doing his best northern cheekie chappie act. (To be fair, I'd sooner have that than Sherwood).
So far, so mediocre. Terribly unlucky at Arsenal on the opening day, blitzed by BFS 'ammers, battling draw with the Barcodes and inept 0-0 (thanks again Jules) with Burnley. Not many teams will have said this before and meant it, but, we really miss Chamakh and I don't think he's going to be back for next week. Warnock has let favourite Glenn Murray go on loan to Reading (where he is already banging them in) and brought in Mrs Doyle from Wolves, and from what I've seen so far; yer won't yer won't yer won't yer won't.
You'll be pleased to know that Cameron Jerome has gone. Bolasie is his usual eratic self but to counter that....ALL HAIL KING WILF, and Puncheon is in a bit of form having buried the hatchet with Warnock. (a little deeper next time please Jason.)
As ever, it remains only one of two games this season when I hope Everton come of worse, so, smash the Jerries, then play yer Ressies v. us
Good luck lids!
