Embarrassment

[dixie1928]

Oh those moments where the skin tingles, the colour rises, and death would be a happy outcome as long as it happens NOW.

One of my worst moments was as a teenager. I was serving Mass in the Cathedral when Archbishop Beck was going strong. In those days, it was regarded as an honour to be selected by a priest, rather than a potential area of "difficulty".

The Cathedral was silent. A few hundred people were taking the time to nod off, pray, or scratch their arses furtively. I had to present the Archbishop with his pointy hat. Picked it up, walked across to where he was sitting, gave it to him, and - as taught - bowed deeply from the waist.

And farted.

Not modestly.

Not quietly.

More like a machine gun in an echo chamber.

Fair to say it woke the sleepers and startled the Archbish.

Worse was to come. It turned out that the smell could have settled the First World War in ten seconds flat had it been harnessed properly. They'd have been running for sweet life out of the trenches!

So what was your "Not My Greatest Moment"?

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

One of my worst moments was as a teenager. I was serving Mass in the Cathedral when Archbishop Beck was going strong. In those days, it was regarded as an honour to be selected by a priest, rather than a potential area of "difficulty".

& so it began, if you head down to one of the masses mate you might get a mention, a nod and a wink from Herr Ratzinger.

Great story though.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Trying hard for a good one here, but the truth is that I've made an arse of myself on a regular basis for the last 42 years.

A recent one close to home was at the derby 2 season back, I had an aisle seat and the ball came out, I stepped to the side and lined it up with every intention of sticking it straight from the paddock into the St. End goal, the steps put paid to any of my intentions though and I swung a peg and missed by about 5 yds. Everyone in the blocks either side of me appreciated it.
I did catch one at the rugby the other week, and wouldn't give it back to the steward, "This aint the fu'kin baseball pal !!" The bloke who was with me then told me about doing the same thing once, and the ball forced his thumb and 2 fingers backwards, reckons it's the worse pain he's ever had, The club physio jumped the wall to come and see to him, he had to walk around the pitch biting his lip with tears swillin' behind his specs as 1/2 of Leigh ripped the piss out of him.

 

[chicoazul]

Great work dixie lid.