Deadline day Limericks

[Professor Toffee]

a Sky commentator named white
Just lives for deadline day night
Sanchez to city
Would be such a pity
Eclipsing ox to the RS

But what about Everton's blues
a new striker, we all look for clues
But when we got Jordan
We all got a hard on
At 11 we'll have breaking news

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Everton are crap
Sky sports is crap
I hate Everton

- Fin

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

We've got a new player called ainsley
He's nearly as good as bainsy
He's old not deaf
A bit of a chef
I say this even though it pains me

(We are signing Ainsley Harriot ,aren't we?)

 

[Bungle]

Can't wait to see Sawyer, I love her to bits
Would love a go on her massive tits
To think she's been smashed by Matterface
He's a massive example of Oxygen waste

We'll sign a crap loan at the end of the night
Barkley stuns us all and moves to the sh1te
But we don't care about any of that, cos it'll hasten the exit of the fat dutch tw@

 

[Gladystweet]

Can't wait to see Sawyer, I love her to bits
Would love a go on her massive tits
To think she's been smashed by Matterface
He's a massive example of Oxygen waste

We'll sign a crap loan at the end of the night
Barkley stuns us all and moves to the sh1te
But we don't care about any of that, cos it'll hasten the exit of the fat dutch tw@

 

[bicycleheader]

There once was a bloke called Ron
He waddled his way to the 'Ton
He spent lots of cash
On Bolasie and Ash
And my god, I wish he was gone

 

[Donald Twain]

I was worried after that first line .

 

[Donald Twain]

Can't wait to see Sawyer, I love her to bits
Would love a go on her massive tits
To think she's been smashed by Matterface
He's a massive example of Oxygen waste

We'll sign a crap loan at the end of the night
Barkley stuns us all and moves to the sh1te
But we don't care about any of that, cos it'll hasten the exit of the fat dutch tw@

Amazeballs!

 

[chrissyjack]

Can't wait to see Sawyer, I love her to bits
Would love a go on her massive tits
To think she's been smashed by Matterface
He's a massive example of Oxygen waste

We'll sign a crap loan at the end of the night
Barkley stuns us all and moves to the sh1te
But we don't care about any of that, cos it'll hasten the exit of the fat dutch tw@

lol ffs

 

[Gladystweet]

I was worried after that first line .

There's something comforting when you read the first line of a limerick and just know what's on the way.

 

[Ollie d]

There is a diamond called Ross,
who suddenly people think's toss,
but when he pick up a pen,
signs for us again,
he'll go back to being just Boss.

 

[orly]

There once was a fat fraud called Ron
For golf he had a hard on
He sold our mate Ross
Who's totally boss
And we long for the day he is gone

 

[chrissyjack]

With transfer fees getting obsceney
Our owner became a right meanie
We wanted a star
From a club from afar
But ended up with Troy Deeney

* Ok I used poetic licence on the first line

 

[a bell maul]

The nervousness has taken a toll
After Ross goosed that gangster's moll
But Cuco's arrived...
...And lent hope to our lives...

...Joey calls him polarised




@Joey66

 

[anton66]

There was an old chairman called Bill,
He wouldn't let go of the till,
We needed a new striker,
Not a fat hairy biker,
So let's carry on with the transfer rumour mill.