(Daft) Things you have said to a pro footballer.

[roydo]

True story this.

Was delivering a parcel, and they were out, so knocked on next doors to ask them to sign for it.

Heard someone coming, so started doing paperwork on my clipboard. Door opens, and a youngish bloke answers. Notice he has a Bristol Rovers tracksuit top on, so to pass the time while I do my scribbles, had a natter.

"Good to see Rovers doing well this season"

"Yeah, players work hard, but supporters impatient"

"Aint that always the way? You see them often mate?"

"Yeah, home and away every game me"

"Christ, they should pay you for that mate!"

"They do"

Looked up, it was Marcus Stewart, Assistant Manager.

He laughed. And signed for the parcel.

There must be tons of these.

 

[bol-uk]

"swig of this...."?

To Naisy with my can of stella in a garage in Warrington

 

[ijjysmith]

@bluejock to Naismith's family was rather brilliant.

 

[roydo]

That was glorious.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

" I've fingered your bird"

Me to Peter Crouch

 

[BlueLlama]

I told Graeme Sharp to stop molesting pandas

 

[roydo]

"Got a light mate?"

Me to Denis Law.

"Is Johnny coming out to play?"

Me to Bobby Gould. Was about 10. Me, not him.

 

[Alan Whittle]

"You did this" to Shaun Derry when I showed him the many small pieces of my smashed watch that I threw to the floor in a rage at his penalty shoot out miss in the 04 play off sf.
"Ha ha mate, nice one" he said.

 

[canuckblue]

Took my dad back home in 2007 and we had tickets for the home game vs. Boro. Schwarzer was in net for Boro and we were in the Park End, about four rows from the front, right behind the goal. Early in the second half, I yell, "Hey, Schwarzer, what's Australian for sieve?" He turns and glares at me; barely five minutes later, Pienaar scores to make it 2-0. "That's right," I yelled to him, "YOU'RE Australian for sieve."

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

"Do you want one" to Jamie Carralaar warming up as I lob an Everton Mint to him, as it hit his hand I said "That's it you're converted back again now."


not to but about ....

Jumps in a lift with my daughter in the Trafford Centre, a blokes in there with his kids, doors close and I said "see him there Olivia " he gives me a side glance "he scores goals" .... it was Paul Scholes.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

"err, what do you think you are wearing mate ?" to Duncan McKenzie in the bank who was wearing a red polo shirt.

 

[Tigger]

Saw Gareth Farrelly in a petrol station in Southport in about 2000 and instead of thanking him for his saving our arses I just looked at the £92 it cost to fill his bmw and said 'that's a big tank', he just looked a bit worried and noddedlol

 

[Titus Bramble]

Me: 'Ping one in the top bin this afternoon please mate'
Bainsey: 'I'll try my best mate'

He didn't. But I think we won

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Inchy in Manc Airport with some Spaniards "I hope you aren't going to where I think you are" he just shrugged and said "Yeah"
Opened the paper the next morning and he'd signed for Espanyol

 

[silent bob]

Angus Hotel in Dundee, up there to watch us play a testimonial at Dundee Utd early 80s. After hours and hours on the ale i decide to stagger up to my room. I`m slumped in the lift waiting for the doors to close when the only bird who was on our coach walks into the lift followed by Big Nev.
A moments awkward silence followed whilst my alcohol addled brain worked out what was going on.
I fixed the worlds best goalie with a steely eye and said "you`re married aren`t ya??"
Surprisingly he didn`t punch me.