Cringeworthy Moments.

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GrandOldTeam

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C'mon, we've all had them. Memories which you literally cringe when you recall them.

One which stands out for me is....

90th minute in a high school football match. Losing 2-1. It was a nasty temper-flared game made worse by it absolutely pissing down. I dived to get a free kick just in our half (think against Anichebe actually). Everyone darts forward eagerly awaiting me to pump the ball forward for one last chance.

I look up and pick out the 6ft bean pole defender who has made his way to the edge of their 18th yard box. I stepped up with the intention of landing the ball on his head when I slipped and 'David Beckhamed' it out for a throw in.

I remember glancin to the sidelines and seeing a gang of girls all huddled up under an umbrella in hysterics as as I pulled myself up from the mud pool. I decided not to wipe the mud of my face to hopefully prevent identification from any scouts and more importantly, fit girls on the touchline. I didn't dare look anywhere other than my own half were only the goalkeeper was stood, luckily the full time whistle went seconds later and I was first in the changing rooms.
 

Just recalled another one.

Was on a lads holiday (in Pontins :lol:). I woke up hungover and grabbed a mates jacket an went to get something to eat. I decided on a big muffin and when I got to the till I went to pull my money out of the jacket pocket when I pulled out a condom. What made it worse was there was a few girls from Bolton behind me in the queue - luckily enough, they seemed to be everywere we went that night prompting inevitable questions from mates like "Danny, one of them have just been pointing at you mate" and "Danny do you know them?"
 

The rattling the Bulgarian bird on my car boot and being surrounded by men with guns coming out the bushes was not one of finest hours.

That is why you are my hero.

My biggest cringeworthy moment was when I started working for my old company- I had been there 3 days and the whole office got invited for a meal but one of our clients. At the meal the client made us all do a speech about working with them. They made me get up and said stuff like' Its going to be an honour working with you and Im looking forward to being a great asset to them both....

Actually doesnt sound too bad when you read it but it was very cringeworthy as I didnt really know anyone!
 

I've posted this in another thread, but it was my most cringeworthy / big girls blouse moment of recent times.

I had a nightmare experience once in Manley,it was the middle of winter, foggy, having a major skive in my van near a farmer's field, i eventually fell asleep only to be awoken by a cow licking my arm and face through my open window. [Poor language removed] [Poor language removed] myself, screaming like a girl at this cow's gozzy eyes, hated cattle ever since.
 
i walked into tesco extra, straight up to the customer help desk.
a girl worker behind the counter had her back to me as i said " excuse me sweetheart , can you tell me where the paint brushes are ?"

to my embarresment , the girl worker turned round and as i saw her face realised 'she' was infact a 'he'.

straight away i said "oooh sorry mate , i thought you were a woman from behind, can you tell me where the paint brushes are fella ?"

"yes , there down there on the left hand side" was the workers reply. which judging by the tone and pitch of the voice immediatly made matters worse as 'he' was in fact the 'she' i originaly thought she was.

talk about putting your foot in it !:D
 
Mine would be many, many years ago when i lived at home, my girlfriend came round and we took to the bedroom to "talk".

So there i am going for it like a rabbit and i notice this tapping on my shoulder, i turn round to see my mum with the cordless phone in hand. No words were spoken and it was never talked about, but my God i still have nightmares.
 

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