Cricket in the garden

Rob17896 · May 31, 2020

chrismpw said:
*best read in a Richie Benaud or John Arlott voice

It was a glorious day at the Chrismpw Oval. With Mrs Chrismpw put in to bat, the field was set with Dewalt Drillcase at silly mid off and Makita drill case at long hop. The lawnmower grass box at long on moved in aggressively as Chrismpw skipped towards the wicket with a flourish and flighted a deadly off break which beat the bat and was collected comfortably by the wind break.

Two balls later a warne-like leg break had the batsman in all sorts of trouble as she went fishing past the off stump, narrowly avoiding getting an edge. The very next ball saw the air turn blue as the bowler, who had not properly warmed up in the way a veteran player should, felt the unforgiving results of an overexuberent flick of the wrist. A couple more line and length balls allowed recovery before a glorious leg break cut in from behind the batsman's legs to whip off the off stump bail. The crowd were ecstatic and the oval erupted.

In came Chrismpw to bat, fully aware of the necessity of avoiding the classic '6 and out' rule pertaining to the garden fence. He eyed up the new field placing cunningly provided by the missus and set a steely determined look as the bowler sped in with a round armed chuck down the wicket, a wide. Chrismpw shoulders arms as the ball passes the wicket on the third bounce.

Next ball was a good line and length bringing a solid forward defensive shot. Another ball was clipped assertively into the dogwood bush, resulting in the cry "I'm not putting my hands into there I've seen rats," from the wife, resulting in the answer - this is why we never asked girls to play as kids. The sledging was becoming extreme.
Two more balls saw the bowler getting into her rhythm before the last ball of the over brought a beautiful shuffle of the feet before the ball was nurdled between the close fielders and race towards the irises for four. Match won.

Anybody else ever do this? What are your stories? God I need to hear some cricket now the footie season is over.

another so called sport. File with Golf

degsy · June 1, 2020

We used to play on the path down the side my uncles house on western ave...tennis ball obvs.
I was about ten and I remember hitting a six with all the nonchalance of a man out for a sunday walk knocking the top of a thistle with with his walking stick, right across both carriage ways and into the front garden of the houses on the odd numbered side of the road.

Out !
6 and out - doh.
tbh, it was a pretty soft delivery, they didn't give me any more soft kiddy ones, I had to take my chances with the rest of the grown ups.

kev · June 1, 2020

'Cricket in your garden' @chrismpw ?

CONTROVERSIAL lol

An insect lover who released 1,000 crickets in his back garden to recreate the sounds of the Med has been given a police warning.

Daniel Emlyn-Jones, 40, bought the bugs online for £40 but was told they can harm native wildlife and has had to use pest control traps to recapture them.

chrismpw · June 1, 2020

kev said:
'Cricket in your garden' @chrismpw ?

CONTROVERSIAL lol

An insect lover who released 1,000 crickets in his back garden to recreate the sounds of the Med has been given a police warning.

Daniel Emlyn-Jones, 40, bought the bugs online for £40 but was told they can harm native wildlife and has had to use pest control traps to recapture them.

There was a lad at the last school I worked at - very clever and quite a bit mischievous. In his last year he was the one who, during an IT lesson, ordered 30 pizzas from dominos and had them delivered . This caused great hilarity in the staffroom as it was a long standing elderly deputy head's lesson . When asked why or when he described it as 'during a lull in the leason....'

On his last day this lad released a bag of hundreds of crickets he'd bought in the science corridor. When it comes to pranks at least he was imaginitive lol