I've needed a turd for a few hours but I'm trying to hold it in so I can merge it with my after-tea dump. This has nothing at all to do with coronavirus or the great bog-roll famine. It just means I can spend longer on the throne playing 8 ball-pool not having to speak to 'er indoors.
Oh and I've got sore eyeballs and keep coughing.
Surely the time of two turds is more game time than one turd? If you go once for the duration of two people start to worry...
Why does bog roll protect you from this plague?