Close Calls and Close Shaves: Everton Transfers that Never Happened

[Big Neville Southall]

Manager wise I remember us being linked to Wim Hanaghan and for about a day we were linked to Houllier just before he went to Liverpool

 

[Chimpy Glassman]

 

[Timak]

Ah Martin Dahlin he cost me £70.

I was about 13/14 and had just discovered those club call things on teletext. Phone up and get the gossip.

Saw a flashing headline "Swedish superstar set to sign for Blues"

Over the course of the next 2 weeks I was on the phone every day, and every day it was going to be completed soon.

Phone bill arrives for about £140 instead of the usual £70 (phones were really expensive in the 90s) and I had the humiliation of having to tell my parents it was me who was phoning all these 0898 numbers.

Hated him since that day and his career went downhill rapidly too.

 

[caught]

Ah Martin Dahlin he cost me £70.

I was about 13/14 and had just discovered those club call things on teletext. Phone up and get the gossip.

Saw a flashing headline "Swedish superstar set to sign for Blues"

Over the course of the next 2 weeks I was on the phone every day, and every day it was going to be completed soon.

Phone bill arrives for about £140 instead of the usual £70 (phones were really expensive in the 90s) and I had the humiliation of having to tell my parents it was me who was phoning all these 0898 numbers.

Hated him since that day and his career went downhill rapidly too.

I always wanted to call one of those but never had the bottle. They were almost as teasing as your average ITK post.

 

[Timak]

I always wanted to call one of those but never had the bottle. They were almost as teasing as your average ITK post.

They were the original click-bait.

"Welcome to Everton Club Call...todays headlines - Blues swoop for South American star - Next Giggs to seal move - Toffees eye new Platini.

Hi Guys, welcome to Everton Club call - home of the news on the blues. (click £1 gone)

Our sources tell us that Everton Football club.... are eyeing up a move for South American player....... hailed as the new Maradonna.......more on this later (£1 gone)

Hailed as the next Giggs, Everton have today been linked with Mark Pembridge, the Derby County youngster is valued at £1m and the Toffees are set to swoop (£1 gone)

Now back to the South American player...currently Peruvian player of the year the 33 year old left back is available on a free transfer and the blues have joined a host of clubs interested in him. (another £1 gone)

My friend and I were addicts, we spent about £8 in a phone box to hear us linked with Oliver Bierhoff. Those places made a fortune before the internet completely destroyed the business model for completely made up twaddle.

 

[bring back the catt]

Dion Dublin anybody? We get Mo Johnson, Sharpie is shipped off to Oldham, Howard Kendall quits, Jimmy Gabriel becomes caretaker and we don't win a game, Mike Walker arrives with his crab sideways football, we almost get relegated but for Brian Stein's 94th minute winner against Sheffield Utd. Jeez, that was as dark a time as I can ever recall supporting Everton, and Lord knows I've been attending since 1954. AND, we still had Peter The Redneck as chairman.
Moves away from all heavy and sharp objects and begins to inhale Cilitbang.