Cheryl Cole's autobiography

[tsubaki]

They have just reviewed this in the latest Private Eye, and amazingly enough they havent completely panned it, perhaps because of anecdotal gems like this:

On holiday in the Seychelles, she felt something "hot and warm and heavy, breathing on me leg". Could he see what it is? "He looked under the table and started screaming like a girl." What is it? she asked. "Ashley had actually jumped up on the table now in fright. 'It's eight inches long!'".

The lizard leapt off and scuttled into the undergrowth.

 

[Seamus Colemole]

2 things.

1 : because Cheryl Cole is famous and a pop singer she's obviously stupid so everyone should pan her book regardless

and

2 : someone needs to tell her she's no good at telling anecdotes. Preferably in a baptist church. Just before her book gets pulped.

 

[Foot Long Hot Dog]

I'd rather pull me toe nails out with a pair of rusty pliers, than waste a portion of my time on this planet reading that thick Geordie, bog cleaner bashing, bints life story.

Did Will I am a helmet get across her btw?

 

[DanEFC92]

If she's completely separated from that knobface Cole, why does she keep the surname?

 

[malfosse]

I don't think I'll be asking Father Christmas for it.

 

[Bungle]

Found the correct quote mate

 

[pfim]

Crazy that:

1. Someone would think her writing an autobiography was a good idea, people would buy it, and have it make money.

2. That people will buy it.

3. That it will make money.

What is this world coming to?

 

[DualityNSNO]

Crazy that:

1. Someone would think her writing an autobiography was a good idea, people would buy it, and have it make money.

2. That people will buy it.

3. That it will make money.

What is this world coming to?

21.12.2012.

 

[EFCNIK]

Leave Cheryl alone you tits.

Come from nothing and look at her now. Nice girl aswell. Shame about her taste in men but she's not the first worldie to fall for a complete cockend.

 

[Brennan]

Leave Cheryl alone you tits.

Come from nothing and look at her now. Nice girl aswell. Shame about her taste in men but she's not the first worldie to fall for a complete cockend.

Some jealous nerds in here

 

[Del]

Yer everyone leave the racist bully alone shes the nations sweetheart

 

[Blue 1]

She is stuningly beautiful but I bet where her foof should be it's just like on a barbie doll. Actually nothing there.

 

[Goat]

I would smash her untill the rope broke on her wrists.

 

[malfosse]

Leave Cheryl alone you tits.

Come from nothing and look at her now. Nice girl aswell. Shame about her taste in men but she's not the first worldie to fall for a complete cockend.

I'm not questioning her personality, but I don't think it will be riveting read, joined girls aloud, abused a toilet cleaner, married Ashley Cole, divorced Ashley Cole, the end.

 

[noharmdone]

I would smash her untill the rope broke on her wrists.

She would have to keep her mouth shut though !!