The Hibbert Agenda
Player Valuation: £20m
I'm not sure how many of you on GOT follow African football, but thought that even for those that don't it might be interesting to see how it's panning out over here in the run up to the World Cup...
So the first leg of the playoffs have now finished as of last night.
There are 5 spots available, fought for between the outright winners of the 10 individual groups.
Qualifying is an absolute pain in the ass- I assure you, for all those who build up the CONCACUSMNT qualifiers by complaining about how difficult it is playing in Honduras, I assure you- that has nothing on playing away in the Ethiopian highlands or in a mudfield in deepest darkest Equatorial Guinea... (I'm bitter about South Africa failing to qualify, but that's down to our inept federation appointing our previous coach for political and not sporting reasons)..
So after the first leg the results are as follows:
Burkina Faso 3 - 2 Algeria
For those of you that don't know Burkina Faso this is Burkina Faso
Smack bang in the middle of Western Africa. Not the most hospitable place, once a shining example of African independence and self-determinism when they ousted the French and decided to go solo (with phenomenal results), the country fell victim to greed and dictatorships, and now is just another little-known African state.
HOWEVER- they do play beautiful football, and are the dark horses of African football. Personally, I would love them to qualify for Brazil, especially instead of Algeria (I will never forgive them for forcing me to endure watching them in WC2010, though they actually were the craziest fans I've ever met). They only qualified for the playoffs via Cape Verde's being disqualified for fielding ineligible players anyway. They wouldn't add much to the World Cup I feel. Will be strongly cheering for Burkina Faso in the next leg.
Cote d'Ivoire 3 - 1 Senegal
Goals by Drogba, Ludovic Sane and Kalou ensured a win versus a Senegal team surprisingly playing without Magaye Gueye. Their goal was scored by Papiss Cisse who has clearly just stopped caring about scoring for Newcastle United. It should be a pretty straightforward second leg victory for Ivory Coast, although what they'll be most worried about is their placement in the actual World Cup. In the last 2 editions they have been placed with Argentina and The Netherlands for 2006, while in 2010 they had to compete with Portugal and Brazil.
Ethiopia 1 - 2 Nigeria
Somehow Ethiopia are still in contention for a place in Brazil, despite having points docked for fielding ineligible players (this can be attributed to the aforementioned incompetent South African coach). That being said to qualify they'll have to now overturn the champions of Africa on their home turf with 2 away goals in hand- a very unlikely prospect (though that being said, until winning the AFCON this year Nigeria had been the masters at upsetting their fans by being huge bottlers). Ethiopia's Mengitsu Assefa scored first, but 2 goals by Emmanuel Emenike of Fenerbahçe ensured that the African representatives in WC2014 are all from West Africa.
Tunisia 0 - 0 Cameroon
With these two teams I'm sad to say I actually couldn't even be bothered to try come up with anything interesting to say. Former red****e goalkeeper Charles Itandje pretty much kept Cameroon in it. Cameroon will be confident of beating Tunisia at home, but they could have really done with a goal to set themselves up nicely. They'll also be nervous of conceding at home and having their fans burn down the stadium and federation buildings, again. Eto'o played despite retiring 12 times in the last 2 years. Alex Song was also there despite not being a footballer anymore. My gut tells me Cameroon will blow it and the country will self-implode over football, again. It's a real shame that these two teams were paired together because I'm confident they'll offer nothing in Brazil- would have preferred either of them to be paired up against Egypt, Senegal or Ethiopia.
Ghana 6 - 1 Egypt
So you can welcome Ghana to the World Cup. I really feel for Egypt for Bob Bradley- it was very good of him to stay in Egypt despite the political trauma the country has experienced over the past few years- but in all honesty for him to overcome Ghana with a team from a country that has had a suspended league for the better part of the last 2 years- just impossible. That said this result being just so emphatic is pretty unexpected. Justice for Ghana being absolutely cheated out of the tournament by Suarez last time around that they make it through. And with there being a chance of there being absolutely no Arab representation at the World Cup (we wait on Algeria and Tunisia, and Iran is not an Arab country)-- let's hope a little known Jordanian player chooses to handball Suarez's goal-bound effort before biting him and jumping on his ankle.
Goals scored: 2 by Asamoah Gyan (ran to the Middle East for 'footballing reasons'), Christian Atsu (another of Chelsea's hoard of loanees), Abdul Warris, Sulley Muntari, and own goal for Wael Gomaa. For Egypt Aboutrika scored the consolation pen.
So the first leg of the playoffs have now finished as of last night.
There are 5 spots available, fought for between the outright winners of the 10 individual groups.
Qualifying is an absolute pain in the ass- I assure you, for all those who build up the CONCACUSMNT qualifiers by complaining about how difficult it is playing in Honduras, I assure you- that has nothing on playing away in the Ethiopian highlands or in a mudfield in deepest darkest Equatorial Guinea... (I'm bitter about South Africa failing to qualify, but that's down to our inept federation appointing our previous coach for political and not sporting reasons)..
So after the first leg the results are as follows:
Burkina Faso 3 - 2 Algeria
For those of you that don't know Burkina Faso this is Burkina Faso

Smack bang in the middle of Western Africa. Not the most hospitable place, once a shining example of African independence and self-determinism when they ousted the French and decided to go solo (with phenomenal results), the country fell victim to greed and dictatorships, and now is just another little-known African state.
HOWEVER- they do play beautiful football, and are the dark horses of African football. Personally, I would love them to qualify for Brazil, especially instead of Algeria (I will never forgive them for forcing me to endure watching them in WC2010, though they actually were the craziest fans I've ever met). They only qualified for the playoffs via Cape Verde's being disqualified for fielding ineligible players anyway. They wouldn't add much to the World Cup I feel. Will be strongly cheering for Burkina Faso in the next leg.
Cote d'Ivoire 3 - 1 Senegal

Goals by Drogba, Ludovic Sane and Kalou ensured a win versus a Senegal team surprisingly playing without Magaye Gueye. Their goal was scored by Papiss Cisse who has clearly just stopped caring about scoring for Newcastle United. It should be a pretty straightforward second leg victory for Ivory Coast, although what they'll be most worried about is their placement in the actual World Cup. In the last 2 editions they have been placed with Argentina and The Netherlands for 2006, while in 2010 they had to compete with Portugal and Brazil.
Ethiopia 1 - 2 Nigeria

Somehow Ethiopia are still in contention for a place in Brazil, despite having points docked for fielding ineligible players (this can be attributed to the aforementioned incompetent South African coach). That being said to qualify they'll have to now overturn the champions of Africa on their home turf with 2 away goals in hand- a very unlikely prospect (though that being said, until winning the AFCON this year Nigeria had been the masters at upsetting their fans by being huge bottlers). Ethiopia's Mengitsu Assefa scored first, but 2 goals by Emmanuel Emenike of Fenerbahçe ensured that the African representatives in WC2014 are all from West Africa.
Tunisia 0 - 0 Cameroon

With these two teams I'm sad to say I actually couldn't even be bothered to try come up with anything interesting to say. Former red****e goalkeeper Charles Itandje pretty much kept Cameroon in it. Cameroon will be confident of beating Tunisia at home, but they could have really done with a goal to set themselves up nicely. They'll also be nervous of conceding at home and having their fans burn down the stadium and federation buildings, again. Eto'o played despite retiring 12 times in the last 2 years. Alex Song was also there despite not being a footballer anymore. My gut tells me Cameroon will blow it and the country will self-implode over football, again. It's a real shame that these two teams were paired together because I'm confident they'll offer nothing in Brazil- would have preferred either of them to be paired up against Egypt, Senegal or Ethiopia.
Ghana 6 - 1 Egypt

So you can welcome Ghana to the World Cup. I really feel for Egypt for Bob Bradley- it was very good of him to stay in Egypt despite the political trauma the country has experienced over the past few years- but in all honesty for him to overcome Ghana with a team from a country that has had a suspended league for the better part of the last 2 years- just impossible. That said this result being just so emphatic is pretty unexpected. Justice for Ghana being absolutely cheated out of the tournament by Suarez last time around that they make it through. And with there being a chance of there being absolutely no Arab representation at the World Cup (we wait on Algeria and Tunisia, and Iran is not an Arab country)-- let's hope a little known Jordanian player chooses to handball Suarez's goal-bound effort before biting him and jumping on his ankle.
Goals scored: 2 by Asamoah Gyan (ran to the Middle East for 'footballing reasons'), Christian Atsu (another of Chelsea's hoard of loanees), Abdul Warris, Sulley Muntari, and own goal for Wael Gomaa. For Egypt Aboutrika scored the consolation pen.
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