Break up dilemma

[Riggles]

Hi folks,

Not sure if I'm posting this in the right place but nevertheless, I broke up with my girlfriend of nearly 3 years last Sunday. Well, she broke up with me. I am at a complete loss as to why she really chose to, other than ''it's not what it used to be', apparently. I was in complete shock over it and couldn't have anticipated it at all. We never really fought much, and even through the break up it was still a weirdly amicable affair. She says she still loves me, and is still attracted me - which confuses me and makes me question her motives even more. I genuinely feel she is making a mistake that she will regret someday, and feel it was a very abrupt decision from her.

However, despite her breaking my heart and all that, my main worry is that we are living together and I simply do not know what the next step is. There is only one bed and we both kind of need the house. The foreseeable future looks pretty bleak, coming into the winter and possibly living alone, in a city where I have very little friends. Any advice on what to do with regards to the living arrangements? I've been trying to decide now for the past week but neither of us know what to do at all. The break up is bad enough but it's just the annoyance of living together that throws a real spanner in the works. I have been staying on couches of friends, hotels and hostels since. I don't know..

 

[Seathestars]

Send me her number mate

 

[Bruce Wayne]

A clean break might actually help move on. Maybe look on the various rental sites for a new place to live. Alternatively, there are plenty that simply offer rooms in shared houses, so might give you some new companionship into the bargain.

 

[Roger Milla]

Sorry mate I have no answers, hopefully she'll see sense. I don't envy you're position, best of luck.

 

[Deleted member 24970]

Not trying to cause trouble mate and I could be wrong, but leaving you like that but still hanging on will never work. Maybe she has another interest that is confusing her at the minute ? Just a thought as ive seen it happen before.

If you both share a house then it does make things difficult, every relationship is unique in that nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. All I can say is no matter how slow time seems to go, just ride it out for a short while. if your other half wants it to work then she will, unfortunately these days when something is broke we throw it away instead of using it as a platform to fix things.

Hope all works out mate.

 

[BlueLlama]

Move in with her sister or best mate.

 

[bluebrotha77]

Send me her number mate

might wanna see a picture first

 

[CahillsCornerFlag]

Biggest thing I'd say mate, for your own sanity you need a proper reason for the breakup. If she's made such a big call then she needs to be prepared to justify it to you, none of these woolly nicities, if that makes it less amicable then so be it but you need to know, it's unhealthy if you're just left without answers.

 

[hibbo'sclass]

This will go well.

 

[witchdoc187]

you'll be alright in a couple of months when you meet another girl to keep you occupied.

 

[LouReedwalkonthewildside]

Live togethor as friends, get her to do all the cleaning up and shopping, and ask her if you can still bang her now and again, best of both worlds.

 

[Lune1878]

Agony Aunt @Bungle is probably the best person to speak to.

 

[Baines' left foot]

Sorry to hear that mate.

I had a very messy break up a few years ago where me and my ex continued to speak and meet up occasionally, even staying over at hers a few times. Worst thing I could have done as it just dragged the whole thing out.

If it was me I'd break off all contact with her (granted that will be difficult with your living situation but the sooner the better). Don't try to text/call her, and if she tries to get in touch then don't necessarily respond. If you do she'll know that she can pick up up and put you down when she pleases, even if she doesn't mean to. If she has made a genuine mistake then things may work out. As humans we want what we can't have, and if she feels like she can't have you due to your actions then it may spark a reaction out of her. Respect yourself.

What's your financial situation regarding the place you're sharing? Are you able to end the tenancy and go your separate ways?

 

[Foot Long Hot Dog]

''it's not what it used to be' = she's got some fresh wang - sorry mate, but that's how it works.

If it's a shared place and it was her choice, either tell her to do one - assuming you can afford the rent on your own.

If you can't afford it on your own get your name taken off the tenancy agreement immediately (and all the utility bills) and go in search of a room in a shared house for the short term.

 

[arch stanton]

take another bird home and see if old bird will do a threes up. If not, smash new bird all over the shop so old bird can see what she's missing out on.

Then move on fella, I gave up getting hung up over birds ages ago. Mrs S is alright I suppose, me and the dog consider her as part of the family