As we went around the pitch I decided that I HAD to be on my best behaviour and random abusive outbursts would get me nowhere, and stop her from ever being considered again.
So I took the over polite and hospitable approach, which left the recipients in a bigger state of shock than if I'd approached them with a mouthful of abuse.
1st up was a Rastafarian guy, who seems to be a helper for one of the disabled blues. "here mate, have an Everton Mint" as soon as he had it in his hand I informed him that he was now converted and would have to rid himself of the devils colour that he was wearing. Took in good spirit.
The 'converted' tag became a feature.
We got around to the away end and made sure we offered every single one at the front a Toffee, about 1/2 declined outright but stopped short of any abuse due to proximity of an 11 y.o. girl (and prob the club official that would've binned them immediately), but then probably 1/2 asked for 1 for themselves/ their lad etc etc. The 'converted' was used each time just as they held/caught it, to great effect and received by them with a grin in most cases.
Then we got to the corner of the park end where the r/s were warming up, so I strolled over and Carralaaaaaar was coming towards me...
"Jamie, you want one ?"
"what ?"
Toffee leaves hand in his direction and I shout "Everton Mint"
his face turned to a 'you bashtard' look, and again as soon as he caught it I said "that's you converted back now, that's the way it works"
he was grinning in a 'I've been had' kind of way, and said "I don't want it" and tossed it back to me.
We got around to the main stand and their coaches/ coreographers were on the touchline,
"would you like a mint"
"what ? oh right, no thanks"
"no it doesn't work like that, I am offering you our hospitality so you can't turn it down"
"no, I really don't want one"
"well, your choice, but it doesn't look good" they still declined.
I made sure all of our dignitaries got one, Dave Hickson is so made up when presented with one... almost like the 1st time you catch one as a kid.
As Olivia left the pitch, I stepped on to carry her basket for her (it is rather large) and as we went towards the tunnel I diverted (at this point I could've easily substituted a blue mouth sweet).
"would you like one Ken"
"what, mumble mumble incoherent something"
"would you like one"
he looked perplexed
"an Everton mint, it would be rude to decline, it's tradition"
"oh right, aye go on"
"here you go have 2, 'cos it's all you'll be getting this afternoon"..... how wrong I was.
at this point he knew he'd also been had, he took it in good spirit though and the rumour is he's requested 1/2 a dozen next year.
So the chance was there to pour vitriol on them, but as it was a big day for my daughter I elected to use a different approach and tbh it seemed to have more effect, as they were taken aback and confused as to how to react, as they had this bald guy forcing Toffees on them in an overpolite manner but they knew something was amiss.
