gianthogweed
Player Valuation: £25m
Flat pack office furniture
Accidents
- Thread starter summerisle
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FC sexy xxx
Player Valuation: £35m
Around 2003 after a home game . I was smashed and looking for my mate who had our bag of stuff and had gone missing. I kicked the bog door open In The Winslow thinking he was having a stripe .
He was only having a dump with his head bent perfectly in line with the door . I KO’ed him and at one point thought he was dead . Luckily him and our stuff was fine in the end .
He was only having a dump with his head bent perfectly in line with the door . I KO’ed him and at one point thought he was dead . Luckily him and our stuff was fine in the end .
SiEdmo
Player Valuation: £10m
hahahahahaha just ended me that
something similar happened to me in town once, I was having a dump in a club bog coz nature called, I heard people moaning for the bog outside, then next thing the door gets booted in, big mountain of a bouncer, goes oh sorry mate I thought you were sniffing coke
Had a heavy night out after work on a Friday. Some ace Lebanese food and then a load of booze. Was due an early start to go hiking in the Brecon Beacons the next day so it was a terrible idea.
Next day I’m in the passenger seat of my mates car on a dual carriageway, somewhere near the Welsh border. Proper need a slash so I’m begging him to stop but he took ages to find a safe place to pull over. Was proper bursting so I’d been using every ounce of control not to piss in his car.
He pulls over, I hop out and take a slash, pure relief. Did what I thought was a bit of a wet fart while I’m going. Jumped back in his car and thought nothing of it. We even stopped off at a small cafe for some breakfast on the way to Abergavenny.
We finally get to the car park where the hike starts. I’d been able to smell what I thought was vomit for some time. Even after getting out the car it wouldn’t go away. I remembered the wet fart but thought “surely not”. Put a hand down there to inspect, and the finger that came back up had what looked like chocolate mousse on it. Naturally, I was hysterical with laughter. Chased my mates around the car park with poo finger before washing my hands in a stream. Went in the bushes and ditched the soiled underwear (probably still there to this day). I couldn’t stop laughing the whole time. Sadly I’d been sitting in this poo for some time so it had seeped through my shorts and onto my mates car seat.
We had a great weekend but all came down sick with a mystery illness on the Monday. Initially thought it was food poisoning from a breakfast buffet on the Sunday morning. One of the lads Googled it and apparently it’s more likely that we caught some illness associated with exposure to faeces (can’t remember the name). I think they’ve all forgiven me now.
Next day I’m in the passenger seat of my mates car on a dual carriageway, somewhere near the Welsh border. Proper need a slash so I’m begging him to stop but he took ages to find a safe place to pull over. Was proper bursting so I’d been using every ounce of control not to piss in his car.
He pulls over, I hop out and take a slash, pure relief. Did what I thought was a bit of a wet fart while I’m going. Jumped back in his car and thought nothing of it. We even stopped off at a small cafe for some breakfast on the way to Abergavenny.
We finally get to the car park where the hike starts. I’d been able to smell what I thought was vomit for some time. Even after getting out the car it wouldn’t go away. I remembered the wet fart but thought “surely not”. Put a hand down there to inspect, and the finger that came back up had what looked like chocolate mousse on it. Naturally, I was hysterical with laughter. Chased my mates around the car park with poo finger before washing my hands in a stream. Went in the bushes and ditched the soiled underwear (probably still there to this day). I couldn’t stop laughing the whole time. Sadly I’d been sitting in this poo for some time so it had seeped through my shorts and onto my mates car seat.
We had a great weekend but all came down sick with a mystery illness on the Monday. Initially thought it was food poisoning from a breakfast buffet on the Sunday morning. One of the lads Googled it and apparently it’s more likely that we caught some illness associated with exposure to faeces (can’t remember the name). I think they’ve all forgiven me now.
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
Too much information there.
I’ve made my peace with it.
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