3 second rule?

[DrSocrates]

Not quite off the floor but we had a lad in my class in junior school who would eat the chewie from under the desk (it would be rock hard and who knows who mouth it had been in before) and looking back no one thought anything wrong in it.

Hi mate are you ok?

 

[ijjysmith]

Hi mate are you ok?

No are you ok freak?

 

[Socrates]

No exactly off the floor but it reminds me after the Charity Shield in 1984, a gang of us stayed down and hit the town.

There were 5 of us and we were staying at one of the lads' place.
He shared a house with this guy who was his landlord who met up with us in a pub after the game for a session.

Many beverages were consumed. For us, it was just another post-match celebration. For the "landlord" it was for want of a better word, a challenge.
I can't remember his name, let's call him Softie

As with most sessions like this, we opted for a late night curry to soak up the ale.

So, we sat down, got our poppadoms and ordered our main meals.

The main meals had just been put down on the table when one of the boys looked at Softie and said "You look a bit peaky." and pointed at him.

Well, it was as if he pressed a button, a button that turned Softie into a human projectile vomit machine.
Several pints of ale and a few chasers that had been ruminating in his gut sprayed out all over the table and covered the dishes closest to him in a noxious lava.

I was sat furthest away and was convinced he had missed mine so I started to tuck in whilst the others were doing their nut, but not so badly as to lose our place to stay the night.

As I was chowing down, believing he'd missed mine, someone pointed out that if my shirt was splashed with his emanation then my Chicken Madras was bound to have been hit.

In my bevvied state, figured that I was Hank Marvin, it was already half eaten and I'd probably swallowed some barf by then anyway, so I decided to finish it off.

But pick food up off a street floor, nah. My own kitchen floor. yeah, no problem.

 

[DrSocrates]

No are you ok freak?

Are you really an Evertonian? You Southern beaut?

I mean how many multis have you got???

 

[DrSocrates]

No exactly off the floor but it reminds me after the Charity Shield in 1984, a gang of us stayed down and hit the town.

There were 5 of us and we were staying at one of the lads' place.
He shared a house with this guy who was his landlord who met up with us in a pub after the game for a session.

Many beverages were consumed. For us, it was just another post-match celebration. For the "landlord" it was for want of a better word, a challenge.
I can't remember his name, let's call him Softie

As with most sessions like this, we opted for a late night curry to soak up the ale.

So, we sat down, got our poppadoms and ordered our main meals.

The main meals had just been put down on the table when one of the boys looked at Softie and said "You look a bit peaky." and pointed at him.

Well, it was as if he pressed a button, a button that turned Softie into a human projectile vomit machine.
Several pints of ale and a few chasers that had been ruminating in his gut sprayed out all over the table and covered the dishes closest to him in a noxious lava.

I was sat furthest away and was convinced he had missed mine so I started to tuck in whilst the others were doing their nut, but not so badly as to lose our place to stay the night.

As I was chowing down, believing he'd missed mine, someone pointed out that if my shirt was splashed with his emanation then my Chicken Madras was bound to have been hit.

In my bevvied state, figured that I was Hank Marvin, it was already half eaten and I'd probably swallowed some barf by then anyway, so I decided to finish it off.

But pick food up off a street floor, nah. My own kitchen floor. yeah, no problem.

Poetry right there....

 

[LinekersLegs]

I really should not have better sense than to read this thread before eating dinner!

 

[Huyton Layne]

If you're eating a kebab in town you've probably gotten more bacteria from the kebab place than any floor anywhere could provide you with,

 

[harris78]

If its after a heavy night on the lash when I was younger, Christ it could have fallen in a skip and I would have ate it. Now I'm older as soon as it hits the floor its in the bin for sure. This is purely because of the repercussions that my stomach would throw at me now rather than being a germophobe....

 

[wba83]

Hi mate are you ok?

Am fine mate yeah why you ask ?

 

[Frang]

No exactly off the floor but it reminds me after the Charity Shield in 1984, a gang of us stayed down and hit the town.

There were 5 of us and we were staying at one of the lads' place.
He shared a house with this guy who was his landlord who met up with us in a pub after the game for a session.

Many beverages were consumed. For us, it was just another post-match celebration. For the "landlord" it was for want of a better word, a challenge.
I can't remember his name, let's call him Softie

As with most sessions like this, we opted for a late night curry to soak up the ale.

So, we sat down, got our poppadoms and ordered our main meals.

The main meals had just been put down on the table when one of the boys looked at Softie and said "You look a bit peaky." and pointed at him.

Well, it was as if he pressed a button, a button that turned Softie into a human projectile vomit machine.
Several pints of ale and a few chasers that had been ruminating in his gut sprayed out all over the table and covered the dishes closest to him in a noxious lava.

I was sat furthest away and was convinced he had missed mine so I started to tuck in whilst the others were doing their nut, but not so badly as to lose our place to stay the night.

As I was chowing down, believing he'd missed mine, someone pointed out that if my shirt was splashed with his emanation then my Chicken Madras was bound to have been hit.

In my bevvied state, figured that I was Hank Marvin, it was already half eaten and I'd probably swallowed some barf by then anyway, so I decided to finish it off.

But pick food up off a street floor, nah. My own kitchen floor. yeah, no problem.

this ^^^ is exactly why the thread was started , little nuggets of pure gold such as this


thanks for sharing … or not!